Never Let You Go
by MLMsky4life
Summary: Light knew his relation with Hikaru didn't work, but he didn't want to admit it...until L showed up. L and Light were meant to be together, fighting or not.
1. Distance

_A/N: New story^^ I just felt like writing this since the idea popped up in my head:) I hope you like it^_

_Oh, and there are a few references to the Kira-case, but this isn't about that. The Kira-arc is past._

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. I do own Hikaru, Dex, Yoki and others^^ Silly thing, disclaimers…why does everybody put it in a story, in every chap sometimes, will your story get deleted or something..? When writing something for Fanfiction, you practically say 'Do not own', right?**

**…I'd better do it too, maybe^^**

_**1. Distance**_

"I'm home!!"

The door of the neat and modern apartment fell closed when Light sighed and hung up his coat. Finally he was home after a long day at the university. It was 'project week', and Light was forced to help everywhere he could to make the week go as smooth as could be. Meaning: He had to look good and give everybody the motivation needed to make a good week of it. He was the incarnation of 'university spirit', it seemed.

Good God it was Friday.

He passed the door that led to a big bedroom with a king-sized bed littered with pillows, and walked to the back of the apartment, where a living room, a dining room and a kitchen were combined in one big, modern and wine-red carpeted room. Light walked to the back and fell down on the big black couch, and looked at the man behind the laptop sitting next to him, to receive an adoring smile.

"Busy day at the university?"

Light smiled and nodded. "Yes, it was busy. I really feel like a model or something…All I have to do is looking good, genius and working hard. It's starting to annoy me." The person next to him smiled and nodded, and Light crept a little closer. "Should I cook today?" He tried to stand up, to be pushed back on the couch gently.

"No, love, I'll do it, you had a busy day. What do you want to eat tonight, ravioli with salmon?"

Light first tried to complain, but decided his companion was right. He smiled thankful. "I'd love that."

A flashing smile lit the room, and Light's love stood up to walk to the kitchen, chatting about his day. Light watched him, in anticipation for a delicious dinner within half an hour, and a black-marbled kitchen that smelled like the finest olive oil. He liked when someone cooked for him. He liked cooking himself too, but this very person was a master chef. Not outside of their kitchen, he was accountant-manager, but in it, he really was. No matter how tiring Light's day, he could always count on a good dinner to cheer him up, in a nice and modern room, with someone who leveled him in some ways and understood him. Light looked how the sun-dried tomatoes were chopped and mixed with mozzarella and basil. And there was the olive oil, and the salt…It was a pleasure to see this person cook.

Light realized how lucky he was to be together with him. He was sensitive, social, gentle and low-tempered. Intelligent, successful, ambitious, and he really cared as much for Light as Light did for him. Even more, probably. Light watched the smooth movements as the lightly tanned hands put the ravioli in the cooking water without a spat, and added salt to that too. A slim figure, a little taller than Light, soft features with a pointy nose, glasses with blue eyes behind them and short brown hair. A kind smile and neat, smart clothing. He saw Light watching him and flashed him another bright smile. Light smiled back.

Hikaru and he had been together for half a year now, and they already lived together in Hikaru's apartment, not too far from the university. He'd just passed twenty and the sun was shining again, lighting the white walls of their living room. Soon, this university year would be over and he and Hikaru would go on a holiday to Spain together. Exciting, he'd only been outside of Japan twice before, to England. Spain sounded like love to Light. He couldn't wait until they'd be there.

"Dinner is ready, love. What sort of wine do you want? White?"

White was fine. Hikaru knew what was best, and white wine tasted good with fish, Hikaru had taught him. Hikaru was a great cook, really great. His job was indeed managing accountants, he was twenty-eight and proud that he'd gotten a young boyfriend like Light. And Light knew he just didn't go well with most people from his own age. He was too mature. Light loved the endless 'mature' chatting with Hikaru. Not about sex or something, just intellectual. Intelligent things Light liked to talk about. Hikaru could be funny, too. A typical Capricorn. Very typical.

Typical too was the typical Light-and-Hikaru-night. A perfect dinner, fixing the table until everything was perfectly neat, the dish washer was humming lightly they'd sit down on the couch. Light would look through a few things for the university, and Hikaru would work a little longer, on the couch. Exactly three feet apart. After that, they'd watch television, Hikaru still working with his laptop and Light would creep closer to Hikaru, wanting to be hold and caressed…

…But Hikaru wouldn't react.

Light would feel rejected and sit on the other end of the couch, again, trying to get a reaction out of Hikaru…

…But Hikaru wouldn't react.

Light would give up and creep back to his boyfriend, lay his head on his shoulder without Hikaru reacting on him. He wouldn't caress his hair or play with his hands, or kiss him, so that Light would forget the television completely. He just didn't react.

Later in the night, Light would get in the mood and try to seduce Hikaru to use the room for something else than watching television. Hikaru would react after a while, and Light was never sure what he'd receive that evening.

Option one: Hikaru would shake his head and kiss Light on his cheek before telling him to go asleep alone, he'd work a 'little' longer.

Option two: Hikaru would sigh and stand up, follow Light to the bedroom to lie down on his back, totally passive. And when Light couldn't hide his disappointment, Hikaru would sigh again and kiss him for a minute before covering him in the blankets and kiss him goodnight, and go back to his laptop. Work a 'little' longer.

Option three, not happening very often: Hikaru would kiss Light and walk to the bedroom casually (yes, always the bedroom, not the couch and DEFINITELY not the dining table) and they'd have slow sex for not too long (indeed, Hikaru had missed the concept that 'SLOW sex' usually took a little longer). And, how'd you guess, when Light wanted to fall asleep on his shoulder, Hikaru would stand up to work a 'little' longer.

Option four: Hikaru wouldn't even react and push Light aside; there wasn't space for his laptop anymore in his lap. He needed it to work a 'little' longer.

Hikaru was perfect. Hikaru was perfect for Light, you'd say.

Up to the point where Light began to feel like hugging, touching, kissing and having sex, because for some reason Hikaru and sex didn't go too well together.

Light often wondered why on earth he stayed together with someone who couldn't give him that what he loved so much.

The answer: He loved Hikaru too much; more than physical contact, and no Hikaru meant the possibility of no sex for a longer time, since Light was very picky and only wanted sex with those he knew well and trusted. Though Light loved sex, he could never give up Hikaru for only that.

He still missed the intimacy, though. First, he'd been content with leaning on Hikaru's shoulder and draping an arm around himself. But it was starting to annoy Light. He remembered Misa being so clingy (she was together with Matsuda now, who didn't mind a clingy Misa at all) and wondered if he was that annoying too. He also wondered if someone who loved him that much shouldn't pay more attention to his needs? He felt like the stereotypical woman who wanted too much from her/his husband. And still, he missed it…Light in love meant Light longing every single second he could think for his love. Touching was heaven to him. Not touching for a while wasn't horrifying, but being rejected all the time felt bad. It was a blow to his ego. Making him wonder how he could let someone do that to him.

Simple. Someone who had everything, really everything, just not the desire to be that close to Light.

Today was the same story. Light had laid himself against Hikaru and crept a hand under the brown shirt his companion was wearing, to feel the well-toned belly and the warm skin against his fingertips. Nice…Light closed his eyes and breathed in the warm scent of Hikaru's hair. Shampoo, gel and Hikaru. The gel-smell wasn't necessary in Light's opinion, but that didn't bother him too much. Hikaru smelled nice.

He blinked when Hikaru took his laptop and put it on the coffee table, to lay his hands on Light's shoulders and kiss him gently. Light moaned lightly in response –how much he loved the feeling of another man's lips on his…- and parted his lips to lick Hikaru's playfully. Hikaru pushed him away softly and stood up, announcing that they'd go to the bedroom. Light followed and dropped down on their bed, watching Hikaru pulling his shirt out to furl it carefully, and lay it on a pile of clothing. His pants followed, and his socks (furled too), but his underwear would stay on when he walked to the bathroom to throw those socks in the laundry basket. When he turned back, he laid his glasses on the furled shirt and looked at Light, to see what he was doing. He found Light lying on his back, one finger gliding over his now bare lower belly and pushing his jeans down, revealing more skin and a tent growing under the thick material of the jeans. Light licked his other finger and looked at Hikaru, slid his gaze lower over Hikaru's body to his crotch, and bit down on the digit. He saw Hikaru gulp and grow too, and decide to do this fast, so that he could go back to his laptop.

He grabbed Light's hips and rubbed himself against Light, making Light arch his back and sigh in pleasure. Finally. Light loved this so much!! He started panting and whispered Hikaru's name, and groaned when Hikaru pulled his jeans and boxers out and squeezed their erections together. Good, this was so good…Light buckled his hips forward in an attempt to feel more, and groaned again when Hikaru started rubbing and squeezing, and he felt both of them getting harder. Great, this was so great, Light felt like he was going to explode…Hikaru touched his belly; Light gasped at the touch and threw his head back in the sheets they slept under every night. He sweated and panted, enjoyed every second of it like this was the last sex he'd ever have the rest of his life. He heard Hikaru pant too and looked at his bedmate. Without glasses and with little sweat drops on his face he looked like a dream. A great turn-on, though Light was already turned on like hell with Hikaru on top of him. Suddenly, Hikaru squeezed even harder and Light groaned so hard he wasn't sure if Hikaru had done the same or not. Closer, he was getting closer; Hikaru was sending him over the edge…

Both men came with another groan, and Light relaxed instantly, enjoying the sensation of the tingles the orgasm had caused all through his body. Ahh, this was real pleasure. Light listened to the sound of Hikaru wiping his hand and crotch clean with tissues, and made a soft sound when Hikaru wiped him too. Light was made for this. Not for being a genius, not for being perfect and especially not for being a lust object from a distance. He was just made for intimacy and sex. The other things didn't count for much, they were side-issues. Important side-issues, that was true, but still side-issues. Light's body was made to be touched and adored and his brilliant mind was there to be blown. Simple as that.

Light blinked when Hikaru kissed his forehead and dimmed the lights in the room, going back to his laptop. Light didn't let that disturb the tingles that still tickled his body and soul, but a part of him felt disappointed. Empty.

Light fell asleep without covering himself in the blankets, but woke up under them anyway. He was even wearing shorts. Light wondered if Hikaru had touched and caressed him in his sleep and shuddered. The man was lying next to him, fast asleep. Light smiled at the sight.

It was past seven, but it was Saturday. Light laid his pillow next to Hikaru's and stared at him for a while.

When Hikaru woke up with Light close to him, he backed off and announced he was going to take care of breakfast.

_*******_


	2. Bet

_A/N: Sorry for the amount of OC's^^ They just live in my head^^ Happy birthday, Light and a friend of mine who isn't likely to ever read this (she's not into fanfiction and/or lemonX3)!! I don't care if I'm one day too early, I love you, guys^^ (Btw, I noticed something about people who are born at Feb 28th: They look so sweet and innocent, but when you get to know them better, they're so EVIL!! Too bad only cute little Schorpio-kiddies will ever notice it) _

_Yeah, we were having fun during BiologicsXD_

_**2. Bet**_

"No, I do not wish to have sex with you. You're annoying."

"C'mon, you know you want to…You're a sex monster and deep inside you want to jump me, baby."

"No, I don't want to. You're not sexy and even if I were a sex monster, I'd not even _consider_ copulating with _you_."

"Come on, sexy baby, you know the price if you do this…I can only leave after you stuck together with me for one month, including sex whenever I wanted to…"

"That is NOT true, I never signed for that, and I believe I was the one who wrote the contract. I checked it and you couldn't have written anything on it. No sex for you, POOR."

"Aww…"

L clenched his fists. Yoki. He'd met him two weeks ago, when he'd been bored out of his mind and wanted something to make things more interesting. And ta-dah, Yoki had showed up in a café he'd sat down to read articles about nonsense (Paris Hilton), and dared L to stick with him for a month. The deal was: Stick with Yoki for a month and he'd leave L alone after that. Ignore Yoki and he'd follow you anywhere, stalk you and rape you when you didn't expect it. This was rated 'sexual intimidation', therefore a crime and it would've been too damn easy to just stand up and disappear there were Yoki would never be able to find him, but L wouldn't be L if he wouldn't accept the challenge, and he wondered if things would get more interesting now. Plus, he'd be so happy if Yoki were gone that he could probably enjoy life more than he'd ever done before.

So now, L had to be together with Yoki for a full month. Two weeks had passed already, two weeks where L and Yoki had been fighting over anything possible to fight over, things L had never expected to ever fight about. Things he didn't even hold for possible to fight about. Yes. There were things in the world L didn't know you could fight about. Apparently.

He slapped Yoki's hands away from his waist and slouched over to the coffee table to grab his coffee and take it to the bathroom. Yoki had a small bathroom with a combined bath and shower, and L always had a hard time ignoring the black dots of mold everywhere on the wall. The dirt Yoki seemed to bring with him everywhere didn't make it any better and L, being a clean freak and spoiled kid ever since he was born, definitely wasn't used to this. You were supposed to feel _clean_ after you left the bathroom, right…? But he had to stay with Yoki, and that meant being in this filthy apartment for a month. He'd sent Watari on vacation and announced he'd take a break for a month, over a month (twee weeks, from now) there would be enough interesting cases to solve again. Sounded mean for the world, but L had a life too.

…Stop laughing, please.

L took the shampoo Yoki used (shampoo for fat hair, budget brand, but L's locks looked way softer now. His hair wasn't fat; it had just looked like it. Not anymore…) and kneaded it in his hair. A wonder he hadn't been raped yet. Yoki was…Eww. He was three inches shorter than L, short red hair and big green eyes with maliciousness shining in them, but not the sort that aroused L. This was just plain annoying. He had sticky and soggy hands, and he groped L every minute he could. His face was getting blue due to all the kicks L had given him, but he didn't care. Groping L was the lust in his life, it seemed.

L washed all the shampoo out of his hair, took a sip of the coffee he'd put next to the shower and took some shower gel to wash every spot those soggy fingers had touched him. His arms, his back, his butt, his legs, even his crotch. That bitch-

"Ryuuuu!! I have caaaake for yooooou and you can come and get it, but first I want some aaaass!!"

BITCH-

L suddenly felt something sharp in his hand and experienced that low-budget bottles were easy to break with one hand, if you squeezed hard enough. It bled and stung horribly, and L hissed when he washed the shampoo off. He needed to see a doctor, that was clear, but he wanted to win this bet and he had to bring Yoki with him…!

He took some disinfectant serum and smeared it around the wound carefully, hissing again when a drop of water seeped in it. A-h-h, this was painful…A towel, he had to get dried, he definitely wouldn't show up in front of Yoki while naked and dripping. He just felt a little cleaner…

He took some bandage from out of the closet and tied it around his hand carefully, trying to stop the bleeding. It worked after a while, and L wrapped as many towels around himself as he could manage, to walk to the bedroom.

…To find Yoki examining his underwear.

"Wow, size L?! You have something with that letter, isn't it?! It's way too wide for you!! Oh, wait, you need it for…"

Those green eyes slid to that what they couldn't see due to the eight towels wrapped around L's body. L knew he was undressing him in his head. That little pervert..!!

"Let me help you, Ryu, I like to see those ankles, but rather I'd see your-"

L watched in contentment as Yoki gripped to his own balls after L's foot had made contact with them. Satisfying, to see that little creep cringing at his feet. He took a step back to prevent him from peek under the towels.

"No way, Yoki, we're going to a doctor. I hurt myself and I have to have this wound sutured. Go away, I need to dress up."

Yoki laughed while still cringing in pain.

"Hah-Ah!! Hahaha, yes, you and your L-boxers, what did you do, rip your cock off while fantasizing about m-AH!! m-me, you dirty perv-AH!!"

L had occasionally kicked Yoki in the face twice, and Yoki glued his eyes to what had to be L's crotch under the towels.

"Hey, gi-ah, that hurt- gimme a light, 'kay, I wanna see your-"

"-Foot against the bridge of your nose, am I right, Yoki?" L murmured. Yoki cringed in pain once again when he felt the ball of L's mean left foot there where L had announced he'd kick him.

"Yoki, we're going to see a doctor, NOW. Dress up and leave. N. O. W."

"Okay, okay, don't need to spell it out for me like that…I'm not stupid…"

L rolled his eyes.

"You're not a genius either. LEAVE. NOW."

Yoki crept to a pile of clothes lying on the ground (if there was one big thing that L and Yoki both lacked, it was cleaning and tidying skills. Both sucked at it, and it resulted in this big mess) and took some clothes off it, leaving L alone. L locked the door, took a glance in the mirror and sighed. He looked like a very cute blue pineapple.

Meaning, a _very_ cute blue pineapple.

He threw all the towels off and stared at his own body in the mirror. His fists were bruised and his surroundings didn't fit him. There was also a small bruise on his butt, where Yoki had pinched him too hard. That little bitch…His hand was packed in bandage, and little drops of red became visible through the white material.

He sighed again and picked up his clothes. This was going to be another very long day.

_*******_

"Cutieeee!!! How is your old man doing?!"

Light laughed and hugged Dex tighter than usual when he saw the neon purple hair of his friend appear in the crowd. He'd missed him; he hadn't seen Dex too much often since he and Hikaru were together. Hikaru found him childish and exaggerating. It was true, but that was what Light liked about Dex. He was honest and he could be serious and comforting, and he knew better than anyone else how to cheer Light up. Such a luck they were friends. They'd met each other in a clothing shop; Dex had told him he needed to wear more red. They chatted and had a click, and Dex appeared to be brilliant too, though he was brilliant because of his creativity. He hated learning, and started studying design and fashion industry. He was intelligent, sure, but he didn't want to do 'boring things'. Light had never met anyone with a sense of humor like Dex's, and soon they became friends. Before Light had came out of the closet, he'd always been jealous at Dex because he had boyfriends, fun and love (if you didn't take the meaning of that word too seriously). Now it was different, Light knew that he'd always be more serious and picky than his neon-loving friend, and Light had a boyfriend too, now.

Though you'd better forget about the 'fun'. Hikaru had a funny sense of humor, but he definitely didn't know how to make 'fun'. He knew how to make good ravioli with salmon…He didn't know how to make love either.

Why was he so hard on Hikaru…? He always smiled so compassionate at Light, he loved him and he cared for him…

"Yoru, you need to get laid harshly!! You look bad, do you hug enough?! Hey!!"

Light startled when Dex waved in front of his face. He was used to people doing that, but he felt a pang in his chest when he realized Dex was right. He didn't hug enough. He smiled weakly.

"I don't. Gimme a hug, Dexie."

Light pulled his friend close again and crushed him in an embrace. A hug, a hug, a hug, a hug…!! Finallyyy…He needed this. He'd always been distant, but since two years ago Light had started loving physical contact and it had even became like oxygen for him. Without, he just didn't function optimally.

He realized more than ever that Hikaru couldn't give that to him.

"Yoru, your old man doesn't hug you enough, right?!"

'Yoru'. Night. A complicated pun on Light's name. 'Yagami', evening God, which Dex had turned into 'Yorugami', Night God. Of course, referring to Light being a sex god. He and Dex had never done things like that, though, and both wanted it to stay that way… But because 'Yorugami' had been too long, it changed in 'Yoru'. Or it was just Light, rhyming with 'night', Dex' English being not so great and therefore being translated back into Japanese. Dex didn't even realize what he was saying anymore, Light was sure.

And he always called Hikaru 'old man'. Hikaru was eight years older, and Dex had pointed out in the very beginning of Light's relationship with him that he found him too old. Not because of his age, Dex did things with men twice as old as him, but because of his mind. "That man just has an old brain", was what Dex always told him. Light indeed knew it, and liked the intelligent conversations he had with his love. But outside of those, he was too 'old' to have some fun with Dex and his friends. Light was obviously the younger of the two, the pretty girl who only married the old man for his money. The young Ancient-Greek boy who had to be overloaded with presents before the old man could have his love returned.

Yeah, that had been different, once…

"I swear you, Ryu was way better for you!! Look at you!! You're a mummy!! Wooooh, I'm untoooouched, hug meeeeee!!"

Light couldn't but smile when his friend pointed his arms forward and punched a few passing people in their faces. He remembered they still were in a busy street full of fancy stores, and pulled at Dex' arm. "Dex, let's go, okay?"

Dex jumped, making him look like a madman, smiled and winked at a guy who looked at him anxiously.

Definitely straight.

Dex didn't seem to mind, either.

"Come on, Yoruuu!! No idea why you stick with The 40-Year-Old Virgin, but let's spice it up a little!! Let's go in here!!"

Dex had grabbed Light's arm and pulled him into a sex shop, and Light blushed heavily. A sex shop, what would Hikaru think when he-

Right, he wasn't with Hikaru now. Phew.

…Why was he so happy about that…?

Light still had to admit he found it funny to be in a sex shop. Dex always wanted to go in a sex shop when they were shopping together. Some inspiration for the next thing he should do with his lover…

Hikaru.

Light suddenly felt really useless in the shop littered with dildo's, porn DVD's and leather. Hikaru wouldn't even be turned on by any of this, he was sure…

"Here, look at this!!"

Dex was searching between the flavored condoms and took one with cappuccino taste out of it.

"Something for that workaholic of you, maybe?! Let him try it during his lunch, bet he'll love it!!"

Light laughed. Cappuccino?

"Do they also have double espresso, extra fine?"

Dex looked through the flavors. "Yes!! Here!!"

Light wondered if it would help any. Hikaru had insisted on testing them both on sexual diseases (both: negative, of course) but he still didn't want oral or anal sex. Light had never seen a condom closer to him than the safe distance of four feet between Hikaru and the shelves where the condoms were stored in shops.

Boring…

…He could always try it. Dex smiled and put three of the double espresso-condoms on the counter, to take his wallet.

"A little present from me, for you!! Make sure to have fun with them, okay?"

Light laughed and hugged Dex, to receive a peck on his cheek. They were always like that; people had asked more often if they were a couple. "Who knows…" was the standard answer. Most of the time people knew they were joking, but Hikaru hadn't found it funny. He hadn't found any of Light's friends funny. He never said so, but his face always told them to 'grow up'. He felt way older and more responsible than them…

…Dex was so, so right.

Light closed his eyes for a second and opened them again, to see himself in one of the mirrors hanging in the shop he was in currently. He looked insecure. Not like how he'd looked before. He knew Hikaru wasn't good for him, so why, why didn't he just leave him…?

Love was a cruel thing.

_*******_


	3. Doubt

_A/N: Extremely fast update for my doing:3 Yush:3 _

_So: Hikaru is Light's boring boyfriend (Hikaru means 'Light' or 'Ray of Light' (really, I found out when my dear beta told me:P), and he can't see Light (the moon) the way Light wants him to:D:D (I love Blackie!!:D))^^. __Dex is Light's friend (think of 'Dexter__', the hyper smartass, the other genius) and Yoki is L's 'bet'. Think of…well, Yoki, the God of the Maliciousness, I forgot in which religion. Love^^_

_Right, I forgot to say, but thanks **black-dranzer-1119 **(Blackie!!:D)for beta-ing!!:D You're great:P_

_Btw, I know Light is a crybaby, but I love him like this:3_

_**3. Doubt**_

"Here, you can go home now. Please squeeze something else when you can't control your anger, okay?"

L felt a vein on his temple almost pop. He had problems with controlling his anger…?! Was that bitch talking to him?!

Then he realized how he was thinking and didn't hesitate to blame it all on Yoki. Before Yoki, he'd never been like this. He'd never-ever squeezed a bottle to pieces, resulting in what would probably become a scar in the ever so perfect skin of his hand (L's skin didn't seem to age. It just got more damaged once he got moody, he'd noticed), and the vein on his temple was new for him too.

Maybe an anger controlling course wouldn't be that bad…

"Yes, Doctor, I know everything about it…He's so harsh to me, do you want to see the scars on my b-"

"No, no, thanks, please go now. I have more patients to help today."

The doctor sighed and watched the two guys (they couldn't be called 'men', they were way too immature, both of them) leaving. At first he thought he was dealing with a homosexual pair who had some fuss every now and then, but something told him that they weren't… The small one had only found it funny, apparently. Though he didn't look like it with that giant bruise in the center of his face, between his eyes. He wouldn't look that triumphantly if he'd been together with that guy.

He had to say it was particularly stupid to participate in something like that, for someone that bad-tempered.

Somewhere outside, L's neck hair suddenly stood on end.

_*******_

"Hikaru…"

Hikaru looked up and looked at Light in his silk red pajamas, the top part showing Light's toned belly and chest. He smiled seductively. He'd made a deal with Dex: If Hikaru wouldn't do this he'd break up with him. Hikaru was a great person, as long as it wasn't about sex, but sex was important too, and Light could always marry a man like this if he were older and his sex drive had collapsed too (though it wasn't normal to have a sex drive like that if you were twenty-eight). "You'll find another one in a minute, if you search well," Dex had told him. Light believed him, but he still wasn't sure about this. It was so…harsh. It wasn't a good way to decide things like this. Not like him.

Hikaru smiled his usual smile.

"What is it, Light?"

Light licked his lips.

"I want you to do something…"

Hikaru didn't have any right to complain. It was Friday night, his work was done and all he was doing now was…Yeah, what was he doing? Staring at statistics he'd made a few days ago, proudly. That couldn't be that important. He leaned back and looked at Light like he was going to make some deal with him.

"What is it?"

Light took one of the condoms Dex had bought him and held it next to his face. "What does it look like…? Double espresso, extra fine…Don't make your waitress wait for receiving the payment…

Hikaru laughed.

"Alright, you got me. Just for today and because it's Friday. Come here."

Light smiled happily, but replaced it by the look of the seductive waitress. "Come and get me. You can't pleasure a waitress here in the middle of a café…"

He walked to the kitchen, letting the top part of his pajamas glide over his arms. All the curtains were closed, he checked it. And so what, there wasn't much light in the room, only dimmed lights…And Light, but he had taught himself not to think that, because puns like that it made him sick with annoyance.

And this wasn't the time to get annoyed.

Hikaru followed him and knelt down in front of Light, who leaned against the counter. This was gonna be great…See, add a little Dex in your relationship and everything goes fine again…

He ignored the fact that he liked foreplay almost as much as the sex itself. Was this really a good way to test things…?

"How do you have to open it…?"

Light took the condom out of Hikaru's hands and opened it, and rubbed his own crotch with his hand, close to Hikaru's face. He sighed when he felt the blood rush to his lower regions. Hikaru blushed and didn't seem to know what to do, and Light couldn't but find it funny. Once he was hard, he slowly pulled down his pants and let them glide over his legs. He'd made sure not to wear any underwear under the silk pajamas. Hikaru eyed the erect penis close to his face with great uncertainty, and Light decided to do the condom himself. Done. Now get on with it, Hikaru.

He threw his head back when he felt something hot close around him, and something velvety press against him.

"Gh-"

He tried not to push his hips forward when it continued, and Hikaru began to move his head slowly, and his tongue around Light's erection. Yes, Light knew he liked the taste of espresso…He was a business man, after all… Light gasped and panted and couldn't but move his hips as Hikaru grabbed them. Light felt his thumbs against his groin, and loved it. See, Hikaru wasn't that bad, and sure he wasn't bad at this…Light knew he was going to come soon, and grabbed the dresser tightly when he felt how close he was. A white flash in front of his eyes, his lower body shocked a few times in pure ecstasy and Light groaned hard. Done. Hikaru wasn't bad at sex. He just needed a push in the right direction.

Light panted a little and Hikaru went to the bathroom to come back with a towel. Light threw the condom away after thanking it inwardly, and Hikaru crept up from behind him and caught his head in the towel, to Light's surprise. He laughed and struggled while Hikaru dried his hair playfully, and when Hikaru started drying his torso he smiled, closed his eyes and relaxed. He'd been wrong, Hikaru wasn't bad at this. Really, he just needed a simple push…

Light blinked when Hikaru asked if he was going to shower after this. He laid the towel around Light's shoulders carefully and pecked him on the cheek, before going back to his laptop. As usual. Light felt a little hurt again. He shouldn't complain, he'd gotten what he wanted, he'd won the bet…He wasn't hurt…

Light went to the bathroom, locked the door and turned the shower on. No, he really felt empty. He wasn't happy. There was something important he really missed, he was so sure now. Why, _why_ did he stay with Hikaru…? Was there a real reason…? They had it so good together, but just on moments like this, and when Dex pointed it out, he felt bad. It would be over soon…Soon enough…It would be like before and he and Hikaru would go on living their life together, without a reason to complain…Hikaru was so gentle, he loved Light…

Light decided to make a list with reasons to stay with Hikaru, or to leave. He started with reasons to stay with him. Hikaru was…

Caring. Whatever Light had, whatever he wanted, he'd get it. A new vest? A new closet full of vests? A backyard with a pool? It didn't matter how expensive or impossible, Hikaru would at least try really hard to get it done. Did he miss his family? Hikaru would invite them all to come over and enjoy a self-made dinner, and it always ended with a glass of wine and Hikaru driving them back home, because both Soichiro and Sachiko drunk too much at moments like that. That was something Light liked best about Hikaru. If it didn't have to do with intimacy, Hikaru would go through hell to get Light what he wanted.

Hikaru was charming, too. He was a bit nerdy, but it sure made him cute. He had a good body, though it wasn't special or overly attractive to Light. He was just nice to be close to. He was social and he always paid attention to others' needs, not necessary to say that it just didn't go for Light's greatest wish…He was intelligent, decent and mature. He was funny too, though he didn't get Light and Dex' humor.

Light stared at the ceiling, and closed his eyes. All what made Hikaru less was Light's need for physical contact. He'd been childish, spoiled and conceited all his life, and maybe it was time to grow up. Making sacrifices for something beautiful. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and caressed his own arms. _'Come on, Light…Do it, you're strong enough. And maybe, when Hikaru sees work isn't that important, you'll get what you want…You always rejected it, and you're not gonna get it now.'_

Light noticed he was crying. What a cruel fate…He'd always disliked it when others not close enough to him touched him, and this was his punishment…

"Light? Hey, love, are you alright?"

Light looked at the door. Hikaru must be wondering why he locked the door…But did he want to open it now and show his red eyes to Hikaru…? He didn't feel like he was done crying either…

"Oh, yes, I'm fine, why?"

Light glanced in the mirror to see if he looked like he was crying. No, not really…His cheeks and eyes were red, that was all…He'd poured water in his eyes, that was it.

"Why did you lock the door? If there's something, you can tell me…"

Light felt a pang in his chest. He couldn't. There was no way he could tell Hikaru about his doubts without totally ruining everything. He was spoiled, Hikaru wouldn't understand and he didn't want to lose him…

"I know. Don't worry, I'm fine, okay? I'll come later!"

A short pause of a few seconds.

"Why did you lock the door? Are you hurt?"

What should he answer on that…?

"No. Don't worry, Hikaru, I'll come to you after I washed myself, okay?"

Another short pause, with only the sound of the shower wetting Light's hair and skin, and the tiles. Hikaru seemed to be thinking.

"Okay…I'll see you soon…"

Light sighed. Hikaru left. He felt a tie in his stomach, but not the kind of tie that comes from butterflies. It was pressing, like there was something in his stomach that was too big for his other organs. But he refused to cry now, it would make him weak. He'd go back and see that it wasn't as bad as Dex thought.

Light dried himself and looked in the mirror. He looked the same like he always did. He was the same pretty-boy with the same honey eyes and the same perfect body and face. Only those eyes stood different. He'd been proud all his life, when he'd looked in the mirror as a little five-year-old boy, when he was a teenager, and later on…You'd think it would only get worse as soon as Light would grow into an adult (though some people would never grow up mentally, he'd experienced).

But the young man looking back looked the same as he'd seen in the shop this afternoon. Insecure and doubtful, not knowing what was right anymore. He sighed and the pretty features from the one in the mirror frowned lightly and sighed too. Light cleaned his face and massaged crème into his skin carefully, like he always did to make sure his skin would stay the same: perfect (for someone with feminine traits) and equal. No single zit, wrinkle or anything. He put a little mousse in his hair and kneaded it in, and combed his hair. Body lotion. Light made sure not to forget a single inch from his body. Now he was soft, clean and he smelled nice, and he still was his perfect self. Only the eyes wouldn't change. They counted for the inside you couldn't clean with water and cosmetics, right…?

Light stared at himself for a little longer, and noticed the face staring back had had started crying again.

_*******_


	4. Memories

_A/N: If you read more of my stories you know that I ALWAYS have to put in flashbacks. This isn't any different. If it fucks you up: Go away nowXD If you don't care: Have fun reading^^ Btw, 'Alpha' and 'Beta' really are psychology archetypes. Search for them if you want^^ I'm not talking about beta-readers, okay?:D (Blackieee:P) Thanks Blackie for beta-ing, btw:)_

**_4. Memories_**

It was an early spring, the trees were green already and the sakura blossom would soon be colouring the trees a soft pink. Sakura pink. The sky would be blue, the air would smell fresh and sweet and a new year with new chances, new freshness and new insights was blowing their way. It had been three weeks since L had started living with Yoki now, one week to go; and it had been a week from now that Light wondered if it was good for him to be with Hikaru. Both boys happened to walk through Aoyama today, with their apparent 'loves' (you couldn't call Yoki 'love', not at all), to enjoy the weather outside. Both were in some way troubled by the person walking next to him, though in different, practically opposite ways, and felt a little better being surrounded by all those other people. Nothing for L to feel like that, and nothing for Light to like having others around who only admired his outsides. But still, it felt good for both to see how many people existed in this world.

Or at least in Aoyama.

Walking along the café Note Blue, Light having his arm hooked in Hikaru's and repeatedly being called 'fagget', something that made Hikaru pull away from Light a little every time he heard it, and L trying to create as much space between Yoki and him, both suddenly noticed a familiar face only feet away. They stopped, causing Hikaru and Yoki to stop too. The faces were only two feet apart now, their eyes were locked and their surroundings disappeared. Something familiar washed through both of them, and the urge to get closer to the other grew in both their hearts, beating as one. They stood there for years, it felt, everything around them disappearing even furtherer until something interrupted them.

"Light, shall we go to the drug store…?"

Light blinked and woke up from his trance, and L did the same, throwing a glance at the tall man next to Light. When he felt a tug at his own arm, he turned to see Yoki's eyes two-and-half inches under his (not three, Yoki didn't have a proper forehead) and Light frowned when the little red-haired boy stuck his tongue out to him.

"Back off, pretty-boy, he's mine. Go back to your accountant-manager."

He grinned when the three other men all turned their heads to him, looking disturbed for various reasons. He took L's hand, who pulled it back immediately and greeted Light and Hikaru with a "Nice to meet you," and a very (maybe even purposively) plastic and fake smile that was more a twitch of the corners of his mouth. Yoki jumped after him, and Light stared for a little longer before Hikaru pulled at his arm gently, demanding him to go furtherer.

It was unnecessary to say that both boys didn't get any sleep that night and couldn't concentrate on anything the next three days.

**_***_**

_"I tell you, don't put that there, it makes the room look small…"_

_"What, you are one to tell me. That ego of yours fills the room more than this silly little piece of wood."_

_"Your ego isn't that small either!! But I can't believe you are too stubborn to just PUT THAT THING OVER THERE, AND NOT HERE!!"_

_L sighed and rolled his eyes dramatically, picked the expensive side table up and put it two inches aside, to look at Light mockingly._

_"Did that make that much difference…?"_

_Light resisted the urge to throw his fist at the floor or to paw on it."YES, IT DOES!! BUT IT'S STILL NOT WHERE IT SHOULD BE!! PUT IT THERE!!"_

_L sighed, took the side table and put it where Light wanted it to be, on the soft carpet of their big apartment, next to the spot where the tiles of the expensive kitchen started. Light mumbled something and L turned to him._

_"Why am I doing this again, actually…?"_

_"Because your back is already wasted. We'd better leave mine intact, right?"_

_"Oh yeah, yours can't carry any more weight because of your ego. Can you hear it, 'Oh my, I am Yagami Light-kun, my back is intact, yaaay…'"_

_It sounded so childish, it looked so stupid and insulting with L waving femininely that Light suddenly felt the urge to punch him. And why not, they were Light and L, after all. He stamped at L, lifted his fist and punched L in the face, HARD, in expectation of getting a foot there it was, right in his stomach, he fell back and curled up, before reminding himself that he was fighting L. Throwing his fists at L, he saw L grab both his wrists and he was pinned down on the carpet, L looking at him darkly._

_"What is it, can't you hit me…?"_

_Light growled._

_"Sure I can!!"_

_He lifted his knee and tried to hit his stomach, but failed dramatically and a few moments later, L's head laid on his chest while he gripped to his own crotch, where Light had sheen-kicked him way too hard to be funny. Light realized what he'd done and pushed L up, to crawl away from underneath him. It was now L who was curled up like a ball, and hissing softly. Light forgot his anger and laid a hand on his back, trying to ignore the realization how painful this had to be. How to make this up….?_

_"Uhm, Ryuzaki…?"_

_L didn't respond._

_"Y-you realize it wasn't my purpose to hit you there, right...?"_

_Still, no response. Light wondered what he could do…This was very, very painful, he knew, but why couldn't L just…you know, respond…?_

_He felt guilty when he saw L rocking slowly in an attempt to lessen the pain and comfort himself, his face buried in the carpet and holding his crotch as if he was afraid it'd all fall off. Light decided to sit and wait, rubbing L's back uneasily, feeling the tension slowly fade away out of L's body. Light was fiddling with a few locks in L's neck when L relaxed some more and let go off his crotch._

_Finally, he moved and worked himself up, facing Light and smiling weakly._

_"Heh…Your sheen kicks get better and better, Light-kun…"_

_Light smiled, relieved that L wasn't angry (because really, hurting another man there was the worst you could do in a fight), and pressed a kiss on L's cheek. L rested his head on Light's shoulder and kissed his neck, and Light shuddered when he felt a tongue glide over his skin, making him gasp for breath. L's tongue and lips traced the shape of his neck, the spot behind his ear and his jaw. Light enjoyed it. It was so natural, yet so fine. He purred softly when L bit his earlobe. _

_"I believe we are friends again, Light-kun…? You can have the side table next to the kitchen door, I don't care about it."_

_They continued for about ten minutes, until L stood up and took Light's hands to help him up too. Light smiled and hugged L._

_"I never want to let you go, you know that?"_

_L hugged back and bit Light's earlobe again._

_"I believe it's unnecessary to point out that I feel the exact same way, Light-kun."_

_They released each other and smiled brightly. _

_"Shall we continue rearranging the sitting room, Ryuzaki?"_

_L laughed and tickled Light. "Oh, do you think that?"_

_Light laughed too and tried to get away from L's hands. "Yes, I thought that!!"_

_"Well then, let's do it."_

_Light made sure to stay three feet away from L's hands when he turned around, and wondered where the heck the fuss from fifteen minutes ago had been all about._

**_***_**

'L-and-Light-fight' had a very clear and recognizable structure, like both had figured out and pointed down, and laughed about so many times. It was natural, it was relieving and it was so good for their relationship and trust in the other. You'd not think it; people always fighting could never have a proper relationship, right? There had to be an alpha and a beta, one who ruled and one who calmed everything down. Two alphas meant ego-fighting and two betas meant hurting each other and being miserable together, were the clichés.

Well, that didn't matter to L and Light, definitely. Both couldn't have an equal relationship with someone else if that other person couldn't beat them. Their egos were too big; they'd totally overrule their poor beta. Fighting was a release for them, and their ridiculously childish verbal fights only showed how much they trusted the other, because they knew very well how unreasonable and silly most of the subjects were, enough to be shameful to pull out in front of someone you weren't very familiar with. Most of the things they said and did weren't any different.

However. The structure in ninety-five percent of their fights:

One: Light was moody or annoyed for some reason, and abreacted it to L.

Two: L noticed it.

Three: L started to purposely annoying Light, because he found it funny.

Four: Light got verbally or physically aggressive.

Five: L fought back.

Six: One of them went too far, hurt the other badly (physical or verbal) and all the aggression was gone in a second.

Seven: If L had been the one going too far, he'd let Light react first and see how long it would take for him to try to make it up. This would usually take a few seconds.

If it had been Light going too far, he'd immediately regret it and try to get L responding, something he purposely didn't, most of the time. Light would have to wait until L would respond. This would usually take a few seconds to minutes, but if L was in shape, it could take hours, much to Light's mood.

Eight: L got fed up with ignoring Light and would make it up.

Nine: Light would give in. Sometimes it took a few minutes, but he wasn't good at staying angry. L was better at that, he found it funny.

Ten: They'd hug, kiss, and lick if it was L, or something else that could be marked as 'fluffy', from out of nowhere.

Eleven: They'd say something sweet to the other that could possibly be marked as 'fluffy' too.

Twelve: They were both in a good mood again and loved each other more and more.

Thirteen: Light got moody again. Prepare for the next fight.

Yeah, that was how most of their fights had always gone…Both missed it. L could beat Yoki as much as he wanted, but it should be clear that it wasn't the same to pin someone down underneath you if you didn't feel attracted to that person; and Light missed _everything_. He couldn't have childish fights with Hikaru because Hikaru didn't feel like participating. Hikaru would NEVER-EVER fight him physically (and he'd sure win effortlessly, Hikaru had done Judo ever since he was twelve, so Light couldn't even put his aggression in it) and hugging, kissing and especially licking didn't happen that much often either.

Light and L both sighed at the very same moment, not knowing that the other did the same.

**_***_**

"Yeah, HELLOO!! I am here!! What, am I not good enough for you or something?! Was it that guy from last time?! Come on, you saw him for three seconds!! Love at first sight doesn't exi-ist!! I mean, come on, was he really that important or something?! And by the way, no one would fall in love with you at first sight, I mean, look at those BAGS!! And that posture!! Oh, oh wait, I didn't mean it like that, it's just that no one but ME would find that sexy, see?! Cuz I sure do find you sexy, but I mean some pretty-boy like him would never fall in love with that!! Hellooo, hello-hooo!! Pay attentioooon!! Hey, where are you with your mind?! I'm fucking you in your ass and you don't even notice!! Come on, I mean-"

L rolled his eyes and glanced at Yoki standing at the other side of the kitchen table, with all his clothes on and his arms waving to get L's attention (meaning: another kick in his face). L didn't even bother glancing at him, and stared outside. The sun, the wind and the Sakura…

"You're not fucking anyone, I am fucking hot and you should try to fuck your own mind instead of fucking mine, you should fucking know."

Yoki frowned at L's sudden response, L only smiled a little when he thought about all the memories that sailed through his mind. Light-kun. He'd seen him again, and many old memories he'd put away for so long made the sun shine in his head and heart again.

Plus, two more days with Yoki and he'd be freed from all the irritations, and free to go wherever he wanted. Within two days, at exactly 2:48PM, he'd be freed, and then, he could go on with doing what he was planning to do, namely trying to get Light back. He was together with that other man (L wouldn't be surprised if Yoki's 'accountant-manager'-remark would be right, the man had reacted so disturbed on just that, and it totally fitted him), but there had been something in the way he'd looked at him…Something L didn't like and he was determined to find out what. It had been a long time ago since he'd felt like this. Since the Kira-case, probably…That burning desire to find a conclusion, a solution. A mind-blowing obsession. Hm. It both had something to do with Light.

The Kira-case wasn't important anymore, though. It was just the way L had found Light, and gained a social life to make fun. It somehow was like his life had started with that case. Many people had died, and L had felt guilty over the fact that something that bad had made his life so much better, but it would be a waste to waste that life now that he had it. That would make all those deaths even more pointless.

Light had been Kira, sure, but once he'd gotten the notebook back, right there in the helicopter, he'd gone insane and screamed to L he was Kira. It had been a hard time to decide what to do, but L had decided that Light was a victim too, in many ways. It would be a great waste to let Light die, if he could save as many people as he'd killed, as a police leader and/or someone who helped L. He'd offered Light the choice to tell L everything he'd done, and give up his memories and the notebook to live his life, and become a police leader. Light would never believe L that he was Kira and had lost his memories, and they'd been struggling with that for a longer time, but in the end they both let it go. It had happened, Kira had wasted many lives and theirs shouldn't be included. It had brought them closer, again. It had been something hard and they'd gotten over it, for the sake of their love. L frowned when he thought about the way they eventually broke up, almost a year ago.

A bet. Another stupid bet.

_"I bet I can live my life without you."_

So stupid…

But L was now determined to make it up to Light.

"Hey, HELLOOOO!! Stop spacing out, you're mine for another two days, you don't have any right to space out and think about some guy you met on the streets!! Helloooo, earth to Ryuuuu, I'm gonna grope you-"

L effortlessly kicked Yoki to the ground as soon as he felt a hand on his abdomen. Forty-nine hours and thirty-three minutes, and he'd be gone from this little brat.

And that little brat would be replaced by his Light.

**_***_**


	5. Comparison

_A/N: __Oh my, I realized I hadn't answered your reviews yet(so many of them!! Thank you!!)!!:P If I forgot one: I'm sorryyyy!! This chapter is for…well, all of you, actuallyXP : I can't reply personally on anonymous reviews, but sorry, I think I'll leave out POV's other than L or Light's^^ Indeed, he was worried, but I don't think his POV would mean many new insights^^ Oh well, it's a good idea, I'll consider it;) Thank you for reviewing, anyway^^_

_Btw, not much happens this chap, it's Light-and-Hikaru-dinner^^ Next chap, more will happen:P Oh well, enjoy^^_

_**5. **__**Comparison**_

There had always been something cute in L's actions, even though he was seven years older than Light. It was just…something silly, something making L look like an adorable little child in the way he moved, looked and spoke sometimes. Not always; L was an adult and he could be serious enough, but sometimes, the little child in him would come to the surface and made Light's heart melt.

Something that popped up in Light's head minutes ago was L searching around in the cabinet filled with sweets, Light standing behind him. L had detected some toffees in the back of it, but when he reached out to it, his fingers were stopped by…something. He kept on probing and probing, trying to reach his precious toffees, until Light laughed and took the sac of toffees out of the cabinet, and showed L the plastic that kept the toffees together. L had blinked a few times, looked from the toffees to Light, and back to the toffees, before figuring out the plastic had been the thing stopping him from reaching his toffees. He'd taken the bag out of Light's hands thankfully and had opened it, started eating his toffees and didn't dare to look at Light; though Light had noticed the faint blush creeping over his boyfriend's face. It had been one of his favorite reasons to tease L. Light smiled when he thought about it. L was so cute. He still was, probably, but Light had only seen his face for a few seconds, the little child hadn't shown up just then…

"Light, are you okay?"

"Hm?"

Light looked up at Hikaru, who eyed him with a bright smile. They were having dinner again and Hikaru had been blabbing about accountant-managing, a reason for Light to space out about someone he'd just seen a few days ago. Hikaru only smiled a little and looked at Light with genuine interest.

"It's still not exactly clear to me, the person you met last time in Aoyama, was that Ryuzaki? The one with the wild black hair, the slouch and the annoying red-haired appendage…?"

Light nodded. "Yes. That was Ryuzaki."

Hikaru smiled genuinely. "Interesting person, I think…He was different than I expected, though, from what I heard of him did I imagine a blond boy with big blue eyes. You always describe him being so touchy and affectionate…"

Light smiled. "He is. Or was, I don't know. You wouldn't think it, huh? First I thought he was cold too, but as soon as I got to know him better…"

"…He opened up for you…" Hikaru shone. "I feel honored that I met him, why don't you ask him to come and have some coffee with us? I'm sure he'll like it here."

Light didn't doubt that L, being a spoiled kid, would like the apartment, but it was the question if he'd like Hikaru or not. He'd probably say the same as Dex, L and Dex always had strikingly matching opinions over things like that. And though Hikaru wasn't a jealous and possessive person, L sure was and he'd definitely not like it to see Light together with someone taller and less cool than him. Light smiled.

"Aren't you jealous, Hikaru…? I'd think that most people would be jealous if his or her love would keep talking about their ex. I would feel the same…"

Hikaru laughed. "Light, if you want to go back to Ryuzaki, there's no way I can stop you. It's all up to you, I trust you in making the right decision."

In other words: 'You'll stay here, I'm better for you than a child who hooks up with an ugly red…thing as soon as he loses you, and you know it. I accept the fact that I can't keep your mind off your ex. Look, I'm so mature!!'

…Okay, that was probably not exactly what Hikaru had in mind, that was more how Light, or especially L would think, but the idea behind it was probably the same: Hikaru wasn't going so low that he'd envy L. He and Light broke up after all, and Hikaru was the one to claim Light's love now.

But Light didn't know anymore. He didn't know what he wanted: stay with Hikaru or go back to L.

He and L had been together, the way they broke apart had been ridiculous, and Light was sure it had both hurt him and L deeply. He'd had an outraged Mello on the phone a week after the incident, who screamed that they were both stupid for letting their egos rule over their love for each other, and that he'd seen L _cry_, and was now traumatized because of Light. And you should've heard Dex and his father…Plus Light's own conscience, knowing he was doing something extremely stupid that would hurt him for much longer than good for him.

Inviting L was a bad idea. Light needed time to think and figure out what was more important: All he'd built up with Hikaru or going back to L and leave Hikaru behind. He didn't know. It confused him and pressed on his chest.

What should he do…? L had a boyfriend too, a very ugly, rude and annoying one he hadn't been too nice to, what if that boy picked up the phone, if L had changed his number (typically L) or anything…? How should he find him back anyway? He only knew that he'd been in Aoyama that day…

And he still didn't know if he wanted to leave Hikaru. His life was perfectly balanced if you forgot the sex and all other physical affection. Hikaru was less stubborn, aggressive, manipulative, purposively annoying and problematic, didn't have to travel all over the world and didn't have to hide the identity of the World's Three Greatest Detectives. He dared to take pictures of him and Light, and he was more mature in many ways. He didn't drag up Kira-memories, he was a great cook, and could have a proper dinner with Light without sugar being involved. He was very neat (L was a clean-freak, but he just lacked the skills and motivation to clean something himself, and he wasn't neat at all, like his appearance should make clear), dressed normal and didn't have the tendency to eat cake in their bed. He had a normal sleeping pattern and-

Wait. That wasn't true. Hikaru never went asleep when Light went asleep. L had done that, he'd forced himself into sleeping or at least lying awake until Light slept. Sometimes, L would really have to work and disappear to the extra room in their apartment Watari and Weddy had taken care of together, and Light would bring his pillow, blankets and mattress with him, to that room where L was discussing things with the Prime Minister of whatever country. He'd lie down next to L, and L would soothe his hair and face with one hand, and sometimes press a light kiss on his cheek or lips. What Light wanted him to do. Sometimes L would massage his feet, belly, scalp or something while continuing working.

When he was done, he wouldn't 'work a little longer', but fall asleep with Light in his arms, right there in the Secret Room, or he didn't fall asleep and just watched Light doing so, while soothing his hair and just being close to him. Light didn't know, he was asleep. He usually woke up next to a starving L, meaning he hadn't left Light to get himself some sweets. Light always felt special when L did that. He was more important to L than sweets, and though he very well knew that he indeed was and should be, he still felt loved. L did that to him. He touched him and paid attention to him, listened to him and knew Light better than anyone ever had, even more than Dex or his father.

Light blinked. He appeared to be listening to Hikaru's accountant-managing-talk again, and apparently he was eating Tiramisu with mocha beans. L had really liked that. That was always a party with L: eating sweet things. It started with being funny and licking whipped cream or something else off their own fingers or find a way to make raisins look sexy, keeping a flirty conversation going. It always somehow ended with licking whipped cream off each other's tongue and exchanging raisins without using hands, and most of the time it was followed by kitchen table sex, and a hot shower or bubble bath afterwards.

Naked. Together. Naturally.

Light blushed when he thought back to it. It had been so nice…And though most couples always complained about a boring sex life, Light doubted if L would ever become boring. Both were too creative and loved sex too much, experimented with everything they could think of, or at least they were very creative with food, they had a comparable sex drive (L's was bigger actually, but he knew how to turn Light on) and they could talk about it openly. A problem for most of those couples, it seemed. Plus, sex was like money. The more you get, the more you want. Or like love. Once you felt loved, you'd love others around you more, and get more love in return.

Light had always loved his sex life with L, but with Hikaru, it had become painfully clear how great it had been. How balanced L and Light had been together, how good they'd matched in almost every way (L could've been neater, a better cook and Light could've spent less time in front of the mirror, but that hadn't been that important for them). It was painful, actually. Light wondered how it would've been if he and L were still together. They would be fighting or making love, and by this time…they'd be flirting in anticipation of good sex. Probably. Or having a kitchen fight, also with the anticipation of good sex afterwards. It didn't matter; L and Light would have serious fun.

Hikaru stood up to tidy the table, and Light helped. Once they were done and both had washed their hands (_very_ important), Light hugged Hikaru from behind and slid his hands under the beige shirt his boyfriend was wearing, to creep around and tickle Hikaru's muscles. Not that Hikaru was ticklish, Light just liked the idea. Of course, it was much more fun if someone was ticklish, but Hikaru wasn't so Light had to pretend. Hikaru stood still, seemingly unaffected by Light's touches. Light untied Hikaru's belt (yes, the curtains were closed, it was dark now) and slid a hand into his pants, to kneed the bulge in Hikaru's slip ("boxers aren't practical") temptingly. He smiled and pressed his crotch against Hikaru's behind when he felt the man in front of him react on his touches. Now he wanted action.

Hikaru's breath fastened and he stood there as if he was made out of stone, tensed and insecure what to do. Light removed his hand and pushed Hikaru with his back against the counter, to pull that ugly slip down and kiss Hikaru full on his mouth, continuing his touching, quickening the pace. He stifled the sounds Hikaru made with his kiss and moved his tongue in Hikaru's mouth tauntingly, making penetrating motions and grabbing the man's chin with his free hand. He was having serious fun with Hikaru, and Hikaru enjoyed it!! Light felt victorious. Why throw all this away if he could make it better himself?! Why wanting to be submissive if he could be overruling and blowing his man's mind?! Light took Hikaru's penis in his mouth when he noticed he was almost there, and swallowed everything. He stood up and licked a drop of white fluid away from his lip when Hikaru looked at him again, and Hikaru blushed heavily when he saw it, looking ashamed. Light found it funny, Hikaru always got uneasy when Light did that. Get used to it, you're a man.

…A nerdy and frigid one, but still.

"Wasn't that fun, Hikaru?", Light taunted with an innocent smile. Hikaru had pulled up his pants and tied his belt, and blushed heavily, not able to say something back. It started to annoy Light. Get some backbone…

"I-I think I'll be working a little longer, L-Light…"

Light formed an agreeing 'ah' with his lips, smiled and leaned forwards, plunged his tongue in Hikaru's mouth, but Hikaru backed away.

"No- no, that's filthy…"

Light blinked. "It's not, It's natural!!"

Hikaru pushed Light a little furtherer away, gently but shakily. "I'm really going to work a little longer now, Light…"

He didn't look at Light, practically ran to his laptop and didn't know how fast he should open it. Light sighed and stood there for a little longer, once again with mixed feelings and slight confusion about what he had to think of all this. He turned to Hikaru, announced he wanted to run for a while but didn't receive an answer, and two minutes later he was jogging around in the park close to their house, sniffing in the cold air of the early spring and the fountain he liked so much. He always walked around in that park with Hikaru, and he had good memories about making out under those trees with L, lying on his back in the shadows with L caressing his stomach. He continued jogging until his breath had fastened, and kept the pace, knowing he could continue like this for hours. After twenty minutes he passed the university, and after thirty minutes he passed a café, to notice the outline of someone familiar that attracted him to enter the door. Before he knew it, he stood in the café, face to face with a surprised L.

_*******_


	6. Before

_A/N: I believe I forgot to answer all your reviews...I'm so terribly sorryXD It's test week and I still want to update, so...:3 Sorry for the bad Coca Cola Zero-thingXD I just had to put it in^^_

_Enjoy LxLight^^_

_**6. **__**Before**_

It was L.

…It was L?

It was L?!

It was L!!

Light blinked and stared at the bewildered face that had became so familiar to him, yet so far away for too long. The same white, flawless skin, with the same wide, black eyes that looked as surprised as Light felt. The same black hair and the same crouch. The same careless clothing and the same pile of sugar cubes next to a cup of coffee and a piece of apple cake.

L.

"H-hi…" Light mumbled, L still looking at him with those big eyes, his face perfectly blank. There were times that Light couldn't read L, and this was a great example, though L's face being totally blank mostly meant L deep in thought or spacing out, he'd discovered long ago. After a few seconds, L indeed seemed to wake up from a trance involving Light's eyes and smiled a little.

"May I ask Light-kun how he's doing…?"

Light smiled too. "Running, eh. How are you doing?"

L smirked. "You saw the annoying red appendage (Light had to think of Hikaru, suddenly) a week ago? Meet Yoki. Less than two days and I'm freed of him. It's a miracle I'm sitting here without him, but he thinks I'm to the groceries store for whipped cream and chocolate sauce…"

Light blinked. "Wait, that…thing wasn't your boyfriend?!"

L frowned. "No way. He's another bet. I was bored, he showed up and said I had two choices: Staying with him for a month or being stalked and raped. I could've disappeared and have him sentenced, but I was bored and I thought this might make things interesting. Stupid way of thinking, isn't it…?"

Light smiled. "I already felt insulted that you chose someone ugly and annoying after…well, me. Like I'm not worth anything…"

L's gaze sharpened a little, and he pointed at the seat in front of him.

"Sit down, Light-kun, would you like some tea?"

Light shook his head. "No, I'm not gonna let you pay for that…"

L raised a hidden eyebrow and Light realized that was the lamest excuse he could use for the way too rich L to go away. He laughed a little and sat down.

"I can't stay too long, I'll have to go home once…"

L smiled. "I know. Watari could bring you, or I could. I could pay for a taxi…"

Light shook his head. "It's fine, Ryuzaki, I wanted to jog for a while and I can sprint home if necessary. Don't worry about that."

He smiled, L smiled back and Light realized how familiar it was. This whole conversation, L's presence, the idea of spending the evening with him and going home together…It was so natural. Like they never broke apart...

"Here it is."

L passed Light his tea and offered him a piece of cake too, but Light rejected it. He still had to run, after all, and it had been less than an hour ago that he'd had his dinner. He glanced at L's apple cake anyways and L pricked a piece of it on his fork, and held it in front of Light's mouth. Without thinking, Light took it, and it tasted great.

Apple cake. Light's secret love, together with cherry pie. L knew about it, Hikaru didn't. How emphasizing…

He giggled a little when he realized what he was doing, and suddenly felt like a naughty child sharing his older brother's stolen cookies with his cute little love. It didn't feel bad, or like betraying Hikaru. It was natural.

But Hikaru wouldn't understand.

It got late, and after an hour of chatting like they'd always done and five cups of coffee, four slices of apple cake, too many weird looks from others to count and twenty piles of sugar cubes having collapsed, Light had found out that L would be going back to England as soon as he was freed from Yoki, with no intentions of coming back. The world was small for him, Light knew, but he said it so…easily. As if he didn't care that Light would lose the last hope to speak to him again. It hurt a little, but Light seemed to be hurt easily nowadays, so he ignored it.

L found out about Hikaru, wasn't particularly happy about it and didn't put much effort in hiding that. He grinned when he found out that Hikaru indeed was an accountant-manager. The longer Light talked to him, the less he believed that L was actually closer to Hikaru than to Light, in ages. L was childish, he made childish remarks, he acted childish and he pouted when Light said Hikaru was taller, after he'd asked it. He smirked darkly and asked who was better in bed (or outside of it, with L and/or Light you never knew), and for a moment Light was stunned, blushed and didn't know what to say. He already knew how L would react if he said he was better: Happy, childish, proud and mockingly; but the last two would only be visible if you were familiar with L's facial expressions.

Light sighed. "I have to admit I don't think I'll ever meet someone better than you, and you know that very well."

Light looked away, and when he didn't receive a response or L dancing on the table, he looked back to meet a more serious gaze that hadn't appeared yet, this evening. He turned his head to L again and looked at him questioningly.

"Does Hikaru-san give Light-kun all he needs, and I'm not talking about material things…?"

Light blinked in surprise and caught off-guard, he shook his head and startled when he realized what he was doing.

"I see. I believe Light-kun tried everything he could, but 'that Hikaru-san keeps on rejecting him. This explains the insecure look in his eyes. I haven't seen you like this much often, Light-kun."

Light only blinked, used to L's deduction skills, and decided it was no use trying to hide things for L. He needed to talk about it anyway and who was a better candidate than L, not looking at the current state of their relationship…? He sighed.

"It's true. Hikaru is perfect in every way-" L snorted- "except from his over-working and his lack of childish humor, and the fact that he doesn't pay any attention to my body, never touches me if I haven't pushed him and most of the time doesn't want sex. If we do, it's good, but every sex is good when you haven't had anything in a week. We somehow lack communication, I think."

L tilted his head to the side. "Isn't that why you'd participate in a relationship…?"

Light jumped up and slammed his hands on the table.

"Exactly!! See, YOU understand me!! Finally!!"

"…I suggest Light-kun sits down again, if he doesn't wish to share this conversation with others."

Light sighed and ignored the looks of the other persons in the warm café. L smiled, asked for Light's left hand, pulled it to his side of the table and glanced at the expensive watch Light had worn for years now. It would always be his favorite. Light shivered under L's touch. His fingertips were soft...

"I also suggest Light-kun goes back now, Hikaru-san might get worried about him." He let Light's hand go and stood up, and Light did the same. L paid for everything he ate and Light almost fainted when he saw what L had to pay for it. This appeared to be an expensive café…Though he hadn't kept track of how much L had actually eaten, that could make the price shoot into the air too.

They walked outside, stopped and smiled at each other. It felt weird that they wouldn't go home together. They had to say goodbye now. L shifted uneasily and tilted his head to the side. "Well…I guess I'll have to say goodbye to Light-kun…"

Light startled. L was going back to England, he was going to leave him, for Light didn't know how long…But he was going to miss him, he wanted him to stay…

"Are you really going, Ryuzaki?"

L nodded. "I guess so."

He turned his eyes to Light and looked at him from under his black bangs. "But if you can give me a reason to stay…"

Why did Light feel like L had stopped in that café because he wanted to meet him? Why, oh why.

Yeah, leave the question marks out.

He smiled nonetheless. "I don't know anymore…Hikaru or you…? We broke up, after all, and Hikaru and I are together now…"

L smirked. "Maybe I should help you a little." He stepped closer to Light and pressed his lips on Light's softly, and kept them there a few seconds before Light felt them move, and instinctively did the same. L smelled nice, like coffee with milk and sugar, and apple cake. And L. Light felt L's arms wrap around his waist and hold him close, and he couldn't but do the same, this felt so familiar, so good and so natural…The kiss got deeper and Light felt his heart beat. This was like a first kiss, but at the same time like they'd done it yesterday for the last time. It however was special, L's lips were soft, like they always were, and he kissed Light so tenderly…Light melted. This was what he was made for. This intimacy. This little world he shared with L.

He blinked when L pulled back a little, and his face hovered an inch away from Light's, their noses touched.

"I can wait for you, Light-kun. Just not too long."

He pressed a last kiss on Light's lips, one that took too long and too short at the same time. All the clichés about perfect kisses sailed through the part of Light's brain that could still think somehow. Suddenly, L's warmth was gone, he smiled one last time and turned around, walking away. Light kept on staring at the slouched form of his ex-boyfriend, intoxicated by the presence and actions of the person he'd never stop loving.

L.

Ryuzaki.

Sigh.

Light blinked and realized people from the café were staring at him with homophobe looks, and suddenly felt embarrassed. How long had he been standing there, how had he looked and blushed…? Hard, most likely. He thoughtlessly turned around and jogged back home, the taste of L's lips lingering on his, L's arms around his waist and his fingers stroking him through the jogging suit he was wearing. He snickered when he thought about the fact that L had smelled like coffee, and Light like sweat, probably. Natural…? L had once said Light's sweat smelled nice, as long as he showered once in a while. Light thought the same about L, though L didn't sweat much and showered every day too. Sweat contained pheromones, one of the main reasons for people to feel sexually attracted to someone else, and later to become familiar that person's body. Maybe there was something with Light and Hikaru's pheromones…Hikaru had never made Light that hot that he wanted to rip the clothes off Hikaru's body, and…no need to mention the amount of attraction Hikaru felt to Light.

Light stopped by one of the trees in the park, where he'd laid with L long ago, sat down and pulled his vest out, trying to smell a little L. Only a little bit, a tiny bit would be enough…But he detected nothing. Only himself, detergent and maybe a little of Hikaru's closet (Light had his own department, they didn't mix up clothes). He sat there for a little longer and stared into nowhere, totally disappearing in L-memories. So many L-memories. Shopping with Dex, L and Asuka (Dex' roommate), laughing at everyone who glanced at them with their stupid homophobic stares. Going to the cinema and miss half of the movie because L was in a funny mood and needed to make dry remarks every three seconds, so that they had to watch it later in some private cinema L had hired. Baking together with him, brownies and cupcakes, to delight Sachiko with it. Later on L would eat it all anyway, together with Sayu, because Sachiko was on some diet that never worked.

L dripping after a shower and forgetting the marble floor in the hall, before slipping painfully, causing his butt to literarily turn blue. His Dad smiling when L was the first one to congratulate him with his birthday. L falling asleep on the couch, his head resting on Light's shoulder. L behind his laptop, talking with the head of the FBI. L kicking him in the face in one of their everyday-fights. L close to Light, whispering his name. L dropping a pile of expensive plates on the new carpet with an uninterested gaze and a lame 'oops'. L unconsciously touching the small bruise on his cheek Light had caused. L talking to Mello over the phone, telling him how to make chocolate milk. L staring up at the air dreamily and taking Light's hand in his.

L.

Light loved him to no end.

He startled when he realized how late it had to be, went home as fast as he could and thought of an excuse for being so late, but when he stepped in and went to the main room, Hikaru didn't even look up.

"Hello, Light, love. Was it nice?"

Light sighed. "It was nice."

He saw Hikaru smile. "Please shower before going to bed, okay? I see you tomorrow."

Light wondered if he wanted to kiss Hikaru goodnight or not. He decided not to. L had kissed him.

"Okay. Bye."

Hikaru turned around. "Wait…Aren't you going to kiss me goodnight?"

Light smiled. "Only if you come here." Hikaru was too uninterested for that anyway.

…He stood up and walked over to Light, took his face in his hands and kissed his cheek.

"I know I'm not always that affectionate, but you must know that I love you, okay?"

Light blinked and froze, and Hikaru thought it was out of surprise, and kissed his boyfriend on his lips lightly. Would he taste L, would he know it…? He pulled away and flashed a smile at Light, before going back to work. Light hadn't detected anything wrong. He had to remind himself to act normal and turned around, to the bathroom. It was confusing. Hikaru was confusing, L was confusing, and he suddenly had to think about the last thing L had said.

"_I can wait for you, Light-kun__. Just not too long."_

He didn't know what he wanted anymore. Why did everything have to be so hard and confusing…? Why?! Why didn't he know what he had to do, like he normally did…? He wanted L, he wanted him so badly, but they broke up, he was with Hikaru now and Hikaru loved him too, after all…He loved Hikaru too, right…?

Light pitied that the shower couldn't pour the right answer into his head.

_*******_


	7. Ants

_A/N: __Sorry for the lateness^^ Forgive me the horribly classic pun at the end of this chap, just enjoyXD_

_**7. **__**Ants**_

L mumbled a bit as he watched the contours of the room become clear. He'd slept…? For how long…? He'd seen Light yesterday; he'd talked to him and kissed him. He remembered it clearly. Light hadn't changed. The same haircut, the same face, the same great body and the same way of acting. Only his eyes had been different. Light had changed, in a way L didn't like. He'd looked…insecure, something had blown his ego in a way Light had never dealt with before, and it was that accountant-manager's fault. Light said it himself, indirectly.

L sighed when he thought about Light. He'd loved him for so long, and seeing him back had been like a wonder, though he knew very well it was logical, regarding the fact Light lived rather close to that café and that he liked jogging at night. L hadn't dropped down in that café because he'd known Light would come there. He'd just grown to like cafés and the cake and coffee they sold there. He used to test cafés with Light, Dex and Asuka + girlfriend, but he'd gone anonymous again after his breakup with Light. He felt guilty sometimes; he and Dex had been friends, quite good friends, actually. Had Light never existed, Dex and L would have gone to the cinemas with Asuka and laughed about stupid things, somehow.

Though testing cafés was fun on your own too, and it was quite boring to ponder over cases in some muff attic with only a laptop. That was one thing Light had changed about L: He wasn't that afraid to show his face anymore, and liked going out now. He still didn't like crowds, too many people or weird stares, but it sure had changed. It could be called 'irresponsible', but L had never been a very responsible person and did whatever he wanted. There were so many people in the world, if L met the bad guys 1) they'd most likely not recognize him and 2) L permanently had a gun hidden in his pocket. Baggy jeans were handy.

L shifted and tried to get up, when he realized he couldn't. He blinked and noticed his arms were tied together on his back and his ankles too. The feeling of the mattress against his skin made clear that he was naked (his own doing, he'd fallen asleep right after throwing all his clothes off), and he knew immediately what time it was.

"YOKI!!"

The door opened immediately and he saw Yoki standing in the doorway, rope in his hand, smiling brightly.

"You're awake!! Hurray!! No one gets away from Yoki without sex!! Voluntary or not!!"

He climbed on the bed and stared at L's naked body.

"So this is how you look without those L-boxers of yours!!"

He poked in L's belly, and watched in fascination how L's belly muscles tensed and became more visible. L looked away when Yoki stared openly at his dick; it was too disgusting to think about. L started to subtly test out which joints he could move best to hit Yoki. His hands were tied on his back, if he could hit Yoki with his head…But first he'd have to come closer to his head, or it wouldn't work.

"I bet you don't dare to kiss me."

Yoki stared at L in pure delight when he heard that phrase come from L's lips. He dove on top of him (one knee at L's crotch) and wanted to attack his lips, when L tensed his belly muscles again and threw his head at Yoki, hitting him hard with his forehead. Yoki looked dizzy for a few seconds before collapsing on top of L, and L shrugged him off. Filthy bitch… He worked himself up, and found out Yoki was bad with knotting. After a minute of struggling, he had both his feet freed and struggled to take a knife out of his nightstand (it was L, and L was paranoid, after all) to free himself. He looked at the door of his bedroom and remembered he hadn't locked it last night, and mentally slapped himself. He decided not to take any more showers in that filthy bathroom until he had his own apartment, and pulled on random clothes he'd thrown on the ground at some point in the last two weeks. He was officially going to have Yoki sentenced for sexual abuse as soon as he was freed of him (he was determined to win the bet, and to stay for those one-and-half days, however. It would be a waste not to now the bet was nearly complete). He took some cake out of the refrigerator, noticed a small white pill in it, assumed it was Viagra and snuck it into a plate of cheap curry from yesterday. Yoki would probably have it for lunch. L smiled.

After he finished the cake, he put the plate with the others that needed to be washed, and searched around in the refrigerator for some strawberries. He put them down, poured whipped cream on it and poured some behind the isolated stove too, and cleaned the opening carefully before putting it back. There were one-and-half days left, but that didn't mean L wouldn't like some whipped cream then.

He smiled and took some not-Diet Coke, and poured some over the pile of dirty plates. He also spilled some on the balcony and made sure a trail of the teeth-rotting chemical sweetness would trace the wall two floors down, where someone had a backyard L had noticed ants overruling the tiny landscape. He took a piece of kitchen paper and wetted it with the cola, and made a subtle trace from the balcony (door opened, it was getting fresh outside instead of cold and L couldn't stand the muff air in Yoki's apartment anymore) to the kitchen. Just when he put the cola back, he heard Yoki come up from behind and squeeze L's butt, to get a bottle in his face.

"Haha, I saw you this morning!! I saw your di-ick, I saw your di-ick, and you haven't seen mine yet-"

"-And I wish to keep it that way." L lifted one of Yoki's feet with his and watched in contentment when Yoki fell back, and he heard a sticky sound when Yoki sat up. The cola was sticky, indeed…He smirked.

"What's the creepy smile for?! Ah, I see, you WANT ME!!"

L stepped back and started eating his strawberries. Even strawberries had less taste when coming from Yoki's refrigerator…

"The door to the balcony is open, like this, others will hear us."

Yoki jumped to the door and opened furtherer. "YOU WANT ME!!"

L smirked. "No, I don't want you. You smell like curry."

Yoki's eyes widened. "Do you want to know when I smell like curry?!"

He took the curry from out of the refrigerator L had subtly wetted with cola too, and put it on the kitchen table that was littered with plates and glasses too (L had bought new ones, he refused to eat from the plates he found when he first got there), and started with the curry. L mumbled that he heard the bell ring (as if anyone ever rang Yoki's bell, he was way too filthy) and slipped outside, closing the door. The world hadn't looked this bright in months. He'd seen Light, and he knew it was only a matter of time before they could make up and get together again. Thirty-one hours and twenty minutes before Yoki would be gone, and he could go shower and eat properly again, in a normal (for his standards) room that wasn't paid by parents who neglected their son's cleaning skills, because they were both the exact same. Yes, L had seen them; they'd visited the apartment and laughed when L told them he wasn't Yoki's boyfriend, but just someone who wanted to win a bet.

"Exactly my son!!" the father had laughed, and that same father had squeezed L's butt exactly where Yoki had caused a painful bruise a day ago. Could bruises leave scars…? L hoped not. He'd never seen it before, but there were more things about Yoki he'd never expected to be in this world.

Thirty-one hours and eighteen minutes…L wanted to jump up and run around, fall asleep under a tree and wake up in a candy store. Get his clothes back from out of his apartment (or buy new ones, a nice option too), hire a five-stars hotel, sleep twelve hours on morphine and cause a sugar rush as soon as he'd wake up. He noticed that he couldn't but walk practically straight when the sun shone on his face and a few advertising women offered him a sample of some new chocolate cookie with extra cacao. He came back again and again, until one of them looked at him questioningly. He smiled his most dazzling and cutest smile and walked further, passing the university and fighting the urge to go in there and surprise everybody with his presence. He'd never finished it. As soon as the Kira-case was done, he'd finished the year and continued with being L. He and Light had bought an apartment (he paid for it, of course) and they'd lived there until that what would be set right. He'd buy them a new apartment, new furniture and of course a bubble bath. He noticed a new flat being built and immediately called Watari, who made a deal with the one behind the building. L would have his apartment within a month.

He smiled. Light could probably live with five-stars hotels for a while, and the Yagami-family and Dex were worth a visit too. Wammy's, of course, and Matsuda and Misa, to see how they were doing…? L always had fun following them in the gossip magazines, a picture of Matsuda in suit and his hands full of shopping bags as he was pulled into some expensive boutique by Misa. Funny. They seemed so…equal? L figured they perfectly fitted, he'd always thought so. Matsuda wasn't her real manager anyways, but it wasn't like the gossip magazines, Misa, Matsuda or Misa's actual manager paid much attention to it. It was a great way to place her in the spotlights, clearly.

L sat down under the tree in the park where he laid with Light once, lying down with his legs limp, slowing his thoughts down immediately, and stared at the sun through the leaves.

It all seemed so _Light_ today.

…

…Light would slap him if he'd hear that. L snickered, not able to wipe the smile away from his features.

He wondered how fast ants could climb up a wall.

_*******_


	8. Smile

_A/N: So much love to Karin Slaughter:)__ You may not have heard of her, but she wrote the amazing Sarah Linton-series, and Will Trent, YAY:) Literal thrillers^^ Great^^ Btw, I'll be either updating very soon or very late, because I'll be gone to France within a week, and after that I'll immediately go on a holiday, so..._

_Oh well, I try to update within a week^^ Hugz:P_

_**8.**__** Smile**_

"Love, are you awake?!"

Light stepped into the living room, to meet Hikaru's eyes. What a stupid question, of course he was awake. He couldn't sleep without a hug or a kiss.

"Yes. Light needs hug. Badly."

Hikaru sighed and smiled apologetically.

"Light, love, let me first finish this, after that I'll come to bed too."

There was a major error in Hikaru's sex drive, so much was clear.

"Like every night? You're never gonna give me what I want, are you? You don't give a fuck about my needs!!"

Hikaru sighed and glanced at the young man standing in front of him, wearing his red silk pajamas. Light couldn't sleep, and he'd gone to Hikaru to see if he could fall asleep next to him, but Hikaru had pushed him aside a bit too roughly. Apparently he couldn't type well with Light lying next to held his pillow close to his chest and glared at Hikaru.

"Language, love. Aren't you exaggerating a little? It's just sex, nothing that important…"

A heated glare made its way to Hikaru's face.

"I wasn't even talking about sex, not that I'd reject that either. A simple hug or a kiss, is that too much work for you?! Why can you spend so much time with those accountants if you can't spend it with me?! You're heartless and cold, do you know that?"

Hikaru laughed. "You are so cute, Light. Now go to bed. I don't have time for this."

Light stared at Hikaru, speechless. How could he…? Pushing Light aside like that…

He stood there, burning with the desire to jerk the cheap piece of plastic out of Hikaru's lap and throw it on the ground, jump on it and kick it away with his bare feet. And have some good violent sex with Hikaru afterwards. Light on top, of course.

He heard more laughter.

"Don't even think about it, my laptop is holy, love."

Light frowned. "And I'm not?!"

Hikaru laughed again and sighed again, which started to annoy the crap out of Light.

"I'm not saying that…"

"Well then, come to bed and fuck me into the mattress!!"

Hikaru didn't laugh anymore.

"No, Light, you're very cute, but I'm not gonna stop working now."

He put his laptop aside with almost neurotic care, stood up and gave Light an awkward kiss on his cheek.

"Here, a kiss. Now go to bed. I have more to do."

Light jerked away. "You only did that to get me away!!"

Hikaru shrugged. "You said you wanted a kiss. What is it now? What else do you want?"

Tears pricked Light's eyes. He felt so misunderstood right now.

"I want you to want me!! I want you to kiss me, I want sex, AND I'M NOT LESS IMPORTANT THAN THOSE STUPID ACCOUNTANTS!! Do you have sex with them or something?! Is that why you never touch me?! JUST PUT THAT STUPID LAPTOP AWAY!!"

Light panted and straightened his back. "Ryuzaki always loved to touch me, you know."

Hikaru looked mildly disturbed now. "And I am not Ryuzaki. Go asleep now. Goodnight!!"

He turned back to his laptop without looking at his pretty boyfriend. Light huffed, knew he was acting like Misa and stomped back to the bedroom, to fall down on their bed and start crying immediately. Out of hurt, but mostly out of frustration. Stupid Hikaru!! Light collected all the sheets and wrapped them around himself. Here, you can't sleep without sheets and therefore you can work all night, that's exactly what you want, don't you?! Stupid, stupid Hikaru!!

Light fell asleep with the satisfying thought of Hikaru walking in the bedroom and noticing he didn't have any sheets to sleep under.

He woke up the morning after on his own half of the bed, under his own almost unnaturally smooth sheets, his head on his own pillow. Hikaru was putting on clothes, and when he was done, he walked over to Light.

"Good morning, love. I'm leaving now, I'll see you tonight."

Hikaru outstretched his hand to Light's face and gave him a gentle and slightly reluctant kiss on his lips. Light closed his eyes and disappeared in the moment, though moments never took long. Hikaru's lips disappeared and when Light opened his eyes, Hikaru was long since gone.

_*******_

"Hikaru?"

Hikaru looked up from his newspaper. "What is it, love?"

After Hikaru had left this morning, Light felt sick, but he'd gone to the university nonetheless. After he'd finished a paper, handed it in and received an A+, he jogged around for an hour, along the café where he'd met L, but he hadn't been there. He'd gone along the supermarket too and bought everything they'd need for a week. With Hikaru's money, of course. He'd cooked himself an early dinner, jogged around for another thirty minutes, showered, and went to bed to read a book (Karin Slaughter), until Hikaru came home. It had been a relaxed day, though Light had been pondering over something all day and came to a conclusion.

He shifted his foot on the floor, uneasy by the idea what he was going to do. He had three choices: work everything out with Hikaru, go back to L or break up with both and start living on his own. He decided to try the first. It seemed the easiest thing to do, but deep inside he already knew how it would end.

"I want to talk with you. About us."

Hikaru went back to his newspaper. "Sure. What's it?"

Light stepped forward and ripped the newspaper out of Hikaru's hands, furled it and threw it on the kitchen table behind him. "I'd like to have all your attention for once. This is important to me."

Hikaru sighed and rolled his eyes. "Love, I already know what this is all about, but I am not Ryuzaki and I'll never become him, accept that. Fumbling with someone else all day long isn't what life is all about. Maybe you could work a little harder for the university?"

Light sat down next to him and looked at Hikaru's now slightly annoyed features.

"This isn't about him, this is about us, and that what you call 'fumbling with someone else' is important for me to feel close to someone. And I'm not asking you to become like Ryuzaki, he is he and you are you, but I'd like you to pay a little bit more attention to me sometimes. Can you understand that?"

Hikaru threw a glance at his newspaper and a slight wrinkle appeared above his nose.

"Of course I can understand, but I don't feel like all that fumbling, Light. It's not that I don't find you attractive; I'm just not into all that stuff. And it doesn't matter how much I touch you, you always want more. Maybe you should grow up and become less selfish. It's only a suggestion…"

Light blinked. At this point, he would've thrown all his twelve fists at L, and screamed that he was the one who should grow up. They'd end on the carpet, tangled up and laughing about how egoistic and childish both were. But this was going to end different, Hikaru indeed wasn't L and he didn't take Light the slightest bit seriously. The newspaper he was now almost obscenely staring at was more important.

"Hikaru, if you don't listen to me some better, I don't know if I want to continue with us…with you."

Hikaru finally turned all his attention to Light, and he looked _surprised_. Not sad surprised or happy surprised, this was just something he hadn't expected, some brand tomato sauce he didn't care about had disappeared out of the supermarket. Light blinked and felt it pierce his heart. It was horrible.

"No, you aren't going to leave. Look at what we have together, Light!! This apartment, our friends-" (yeah, Dex and Asuka the hardcore gays, and those old accountant-managers, of course) "-our families and our relationship!! You'll never find someone who cares more for you!!"

Hikaru laughed.

"You don't want to leave!!"

Light was stunned. Really stunned. He didn't know this side of Hikaru. He didn't know the man who laughed at him with an ego that made L's look like a pea. He didn't see the Hikaru who he loved, he didn't see the shy nerd who blushed whenever Light got sexual. He saw a cruel monster who held Light somewhere he didn't want to be. He couldn't move, Hikaru stood up and took the newspaper from behind him, and continued reading.

"Hey, look, the AEX has increased with five percent!! Good thing, I'm gonna call Hank…"

Light felt a thick tear roll over his face, and he suddenly remembered how it felt when your heart broke. Hikaru wasn't Hikaru, this person just shoved him aside like he was nothing…He'd been wrong, he'd been so terribly wrong…He suddenly felt nauseous in the room, claustrophobic. He had to get out of there.

Light turned around, tears blurring his vision, and he heard Hikaru talk from behind him.

"…Five percent!! Meaning- Oh, wait, Hank, Light is leaving. SEE YOU TOMORROW, I'LL BE LATE, SO COOK FOR YOURSELF, OKAY?! Where were we? Right, if the index…"

Light ran to the bedroom and took a bag out of it, and started to run around to pick out everything he'd need for a week on his own. Clothes, underwear, shampoo and conditioner, face wash, his wallet, a bottle of water, his Karin Slaughter-book and the picture of L he secretly kept in his nightstand…He had to get out of here, within a few seconds the walls would be so tight he'd be crushed. He pulled on his sneakers and sprinted out of the room, slamming the door shut with force. _'Goodbye, bubble bath…'_

He realized he forgot his coat. It didn't matter. He didn't want to go in, never again.

_*******_

"YORUUUU!!! You have no idea who I saw yesterday- Hey, what happened to you?!"

Light sobbed and fell in his neon-haired friend's arms, and cried loudly on Dex' shoulder. He had no idea how he'd made it here, but he'd done it. He didn't remember if he simply ran to Dex, if he took the metro, or called a taxi. Now that he thought about it, how could he know he hadn't been in England for a week…? Who knew…

Dex rubbed his back.

"What is it?! You need to get laid harshly!! Come in!!"

Light walked in and dropped down on Dex' couch littered with several neon-colored pillows. It was surprisingly neat, Light noticed. He suddenly felt warmer. Dex was there to comfort him.

"I know, far too neat!! Asuka is gone for three days with Miku, some festival for punk music, and she didn't want to leave me in a mess, but I love mess!!" He jumped up and ran to the bedroom, to come back with a few neon shirts, and threw them on the floor.

"Way better. But tell me, what's wrong?! Do you want soda, beer, whisky?"

Light laughed through his sobs. "Caffeine-free, two sugars, okay?"

Dex cheered. "Coffeeeee!! Coffee means mess!! Sure!!"

He put water in the coffee maker and sat down next to Light, wrapping an arm around him.

"Hey, what is it, Yoru? The old man again?"

Light nodded and started sobbing softly. "I-I broke up with hi-im.."

Dex smiled brightly. "Really?! How?!"

Light rubbed his forehead and told Dex what happened, how Hikaru changed, and Dex just listened. Light's friend could be very understanding and comforting at times.

"A-and then, h-he said that he'd be late tomorrow, a-and that I had to cook for myself, and then h-he just continued talking about the AEX-index or somethi-ing…"

Light dropped his head in his hands and started shaking uncontrollably. He felt humiliated. How could he have stayed with Hikaru? Why had he missed something so important for the sake of someone who didn't understand him…? He didn't understand anymore. He never had. He'd been so stupid by believing Hikaru that he was the one who was childish and egoistic…

That smile on Hikaru's face…Light chilled when he thought about it.

"Coffee's done!!" Dex smiled and jumped up, to the kitchen. Light looked at the neon-blue wall in front of him. It was full of photos, mostly Dex, Asuka and Light, and many others. One with L on it, Light had been more surprised than good for his (now broken) heart when L had been okay with Dex taking a picture of him, as long as he could bury his face in Light's hair and pull a panda hat over his eyes. ("I am no one. You don't know me. If anyone ever asks who I am, tell them I was a random guy who started kissing Light's ear from out of nowhere. Remember that.")

Light smiled when he saw it.

L. His special person.

"Coffeeeeee!!! Here, Yoru!! But, do you want to hear who I met yesterday?! Well?!"

Light looked up and smiled. It almost felt like he'd seen L again. Strangely, he felt better.

"Who was it?"

_*******_


	9. Joys

_A/N: Yes…I still have a__ secret obsession with Yu-Gi-Oh, buried deep inside my soul…^^__ I updated fast, like you can see;) _

_**9.**__** Joys**_

Dex' kitchen. A mess made up of neon-pink walls, a yellow fridge, bright blue cupboards and an amazing amount of neon decoration and forks, spoons, knifes, cups and plates decorated by Asuka, who also loved bright colors (if not, there was no way you could live with Dex on twenty-five square meters). The thing Light loved most was the apple green clock. It was full of photos with numbers next to them, and only the chosen ones knew that Dex gave all his bed partners a mark for how they did_ it_. L was 'chosen' too, and he always smirked so cutely when remarking neon-haired guys scored better than natural-colored ones… The kitchen was full of little notes, pictures, accessories and if you were lucky you found money. Though Dex and Asuka were way too nice to steal from.

It was hygienic, though, and Asuka had left enough food to cook for two days.

So now, Light and Dex were in that kitchen, preparing spaghetti with cheap tomato sauce. Light added cream and basil, things he'd learnt from Hikaru. He felt weird. No excellent dinners from Hikaru again. No more star cooking in his kitchen.

…Right, Hikaru's kitchen. Not his anymore. He sighed softly.

"Hikaru had many good qualities too…"

Dex smirked. "Name them."

Light stared at the basil.

"He's a good cook."

He was a good cook indeed. Light wondered if there were better cooks in a five-star restaurant.

Dex tilted his head to the side. "Any more things…?"

Light wanted to say Hikaru was warm, attentive, caring and gentle, but Hikaru's smile from a few hours ago popped up in his head. Light let his head fall.

"He wasn't Hikaru anymore…"

Dex aww-ed again and hugged him. "And you know what?! That Hikaru-man only made that you didn't have sex enough. Now it's Yoru's time!!"

Light smiled. "You know I don't want one-night-stands, Dexie."

His friend wiggled his eye brows. "Maybe you should try it…"

Light laughed. "It's okay, I can live without sex. I just hate being rejected all the time."

Dex took the spaghetti and threw it in the strainer, Light had put it in the sink before their dinner would end there.

"You'll find someone, I'm sure!! You're hot, everybody wants you!! You're just way too picky."

Light stirred the spaghetti sauce and threw the minced meat in they'd just baked. It smelled delicious. See, they could be star cooks too!!

"And I'll just get pickier from now on."

They ate spaghetti together, watching Show News on the couch. "Misa Amane vs. Britney Spears: Who Is Betterrr?!" Light and Dex both betted on Misa, but it ended in a tie. Light wondered if Misa would be watching or not. Would she be happy or insulted…?

They chatted over nothing and laughed more in an hour than Light would do in one whole day with Hikaru. At the end of the evening, after they'd decided to walk for a minute, Light felt more free than he'd ever done the last six months.

Next morning he woke up in Dex' king size bed (with his pajamas on, of course) and stood up, to meet Dex in the kitchen.

"Yoruuuu!!! You're not going to the university today; you're having a free day!!"

Dex checked his diary…? Light blinked and accepted the toast and the damping coffee Dex shoved into his hands. His friend wore a neon-green shirt with 'I want candy' on it in bright purple, with a somehow…suggestive lollipop forming the 'I'. His favorite shirt to wear to work, in the Espresso Factory; a very modern and expensive café. He found it funny, due to the manager who hated it when he wore shirts like that. Dex loved provocation.

"I'm going to my university first, that ends at twelve o'clock, after that I'll work until three o'clock. I'll be back an hour later, okay?"

Light looked at the smile that made the sun shine. How lucky he was with a friend like this. He smiled back and Dex hurried out of the door, late, as usual. Light sat down with his toast and coffee and read the things Dex and Asuka considered a 'newspaper': Magazines about gossip, punk, art and music. He felt so relaxed and grinned every now and then when he saw a picture of Matsuda with sunglasses, trying to look cool, but failing somehow. "Misa Amane does it with manager" was still hot news. Matsuda had a lot of fans, it seemed…

He took a shower, brushed his teeth and suddenly felt the need to jog in the sun that was shining into the bathroom. Showering was useless now…

Oh well, this was his day.

He ran through the park, the sun lighting his face, and he stopped at the supermarket. He bought cake and strawberries, without knowing why, and the EIGHTEEN for Dex. He jogged back, holding the strawberries in one hand and the cake and the EIGHTEEN close to his chest, to make sure nothing happened to it. The cake was crumbed when he came back, but he didn't care. He didn't feel like showering again, or to change clothes. He took a bag and put the strawberries, the cake, his Karin Slaughter-book and his sunglasses in it. He opened the door, to be greeted by the sun, and something that made his heart miss three beats.

He was greeted by the hesitant gaze of L, his hand lifted on its way to ring the bell.

L?!

Light blinked and blushed in surprise. "What are you doing here?!"

L blushed too, pulled his lifted arm back and tucked his hands in his pockets.

"Dex called, he said I had to come over immediately due to something involving sweets…I already figured it would have something to do with you."

Light tilted his head to the side. "Right…he met you a week ago, he told me yesterday. I figured you left Japan after that…"

L looked down and it was quiet for a while, apart from the sounds of spring. The wind blew L's hair softly, and a petal of sakura blossom got stuck above his ear. Light looked at it for a while, the sun shining in his eyes. Avoiding Light's gaze, L stared at the skyline, a bit dreamily.

"I didn't want to."

After a few seconds of hesitating, Light outstretched his hand, plucked the sakura blossom out of L's hair and watched it fly away together with the other petals, dancing on the wind, before turning back to L. He didn't look older at all. He was still the same L, with the same features, the same black lines under his eyes, the same flawless, pale skin. Maybe his hair was a bit different? Light didn't know. He touched L's cheek. Velvety soft, like a girl's. Though L wasn't…

"Light-kun, why did we ever leave each other…?"

Light's heart beat a little faster. L could be so direct by times…

"I don't know…"

L looked Light in the eyes now, examining his face. Light suddenly felt the need to talk to L, to tell him everything. About how he'd felt after they broke up, about Hikaru, how he missed him... L had to know everything.

"I have cake and strawberries…Do you want to go to the park with me, Ryuzaki?"

L looked at Light's face for a little longer and nodded, and Light would swear he detected a victorious smile on his loved one's face.

_*******_

Dex walked home, in the same bright mood as always. That boss of his…How sweet. He'd promised free coffee everyday if he'd show up in normal clothes. Of course he'd pay for the shirts too. How could Dex resist? Free coffee AND free shirts, everybody!! He'd ask Asuka to give a neon twist to them, and he'd bought three simple but expensive black shirts. Tight, of course, but 'acceptable'.

And his cute little couple…He called Ryu today to go to his apartment, 'because there was something important he had to see'. Poor guy, making a bet with some worm, but he'd told Dex he missed Yoru, when the Worm had gone to the toilet…He'd seen Yoru with the Old Man, and he'd looked sad when talking about it.

Aww…

Dex smiled at the bright afternoon sun and winked at a tall man in a suit, who stared back with disturbed eyes. Ah, suits… They should be forbidden.

He called Marik to bring extra whipped cream with him. Marik, his hot new boyfriend. Tanned, blond, hot body. At first it had been an idiot who was crazed about some puzzle and playing cards, but Dex had showed him the joys of Bedroom Fun, and now it was just a crazy hot guy. A crazy, hot and tanned guy, who looked like an Egyptian god by times. Yesyes, the joys of Marik…

He started preparing the ingredients for a great picnic for four persons, and crushed Marik in a hyper embrace when he walked in too, and helped finishing. After an hour, they were ready to go.

…Maybe Ryu and Yoru wouldn't mind Dex staying inside a little longer, right?

The joys of Bedroom Fun with Marik.

_*******_

"_You are SO annoying!!"_

_L blinked and tilted his head to the side. He was annoying…? Light had been like this for half a day now, telling L he was annoying. L knew very well why, he was purposively annoying him by exaggerating some quirks, but he liked acting like he was stupid. _

_Why? _

_Because it annoyed Light, and L was in a bad mood too, Light had found it funny to make L think there wasn't any sweet food left in the house, that the key was lost and that they were locked up in their own apartment. L had found the key back in Light's pocket, Light had looked annoyed and told L to kick it, he was fed up with finding sweets everywhere in the house, crumbs in their bed and wrappers in the washing machine. L hadn't had the energy to hit him hard because of the lack of sugar, but it sure had made him grumpy._

"_Maybe it's Light-kun who's being annoying…"_

_Light turned away from the peanut butter sandwiches he was making to face L, who was sitting on the couch with a bowl of strawberries in front of him. Something sweet L had found in the tumble dryer, somewhere he normally didn't look._

"_It's you!! Stop being so… Annoying!!"_

_L looked dark__. "Do you want me to get away, then?"_

_Light threw his arms__ with peanut butter-knife in the air, almost smearing the ceiling with the brown substance._

"_Yeah, do that!! Why don't you just leave me alone?!"_

_L sighed and stood up. "I guess I should go, then…"_

_Light turned away from L, back to his sandwich._

"_Don't come here, begging that you want to come back!!"_

_L turned around too and pierced Light's back with his eyes._

"_Light-kun, I can live my life without you."_

_Light froze and turned around. He looked stunned, insulted, hurt and angry at the same time, his shoulders tensed. He was quiet for a few seconds before setting the whole room on fire with his anger._

"_Well, I can live my life without YOU!! Goodbye, Ryuzaki!!"_

_L pulled one eyebrow up to mock Light._

"_Well, then. Bye."_

_L slouched out, leaving Light in the kitchen with his sandwich. Fuck him. L was really angry now. He took his wallet, his cell phone and his laptop in a bag, and slouched out, acting relaxed. He greeted the __neighbour's__ friendly, and continued walking towards the elevator._

_W__hen he stared out of the window on the flight to England, he realized what he'd done._

_*******_

To-dom. To-dom. To-dom.

A heartbeat.

Life.

Light dried his tears on L's shirt, and laid his head back against his chest, his ear resting where he could feel and hear L's heart beat against it. It had been an hour since they'd left Dex' front door to talk in the park.

Everything was alright again. The emotional rollercoaster from the last half year was over. The tears were only there to let out the last bad emotions that remained in Light's chest.

They'd lain down there, in the shadows of a big tree you could see from Dex' apartment, close to a big pond. The first they'd talked about was how they broke up. Why they hadn't called the other afterwards. The reactions around them (everyone important to them hadn't ever expected them to break up). Everything they'd missed. The conclusion that something stupid had led to something both had considered a bet, and therefore never called the other. Light and L had both realized it was serious, but were too childish to give up their bet. It hurt, and both knew very well how much pain they'd be causing by refusing to make it up, but they'd done it nonetheless. It felt so good to Light that L had been depressed over it too, though it sounded mean. He felt important again.

He sighed and pressed a kiss on L's lips. He was back…After everything, losing him, falling in love with Hikaru, realizing Hikaru missed something important and missing L even more than he'd ever done, L was back.

L kissed Light's tears away and soothed his hair, and stared into his eyes. Light's heart beat a little faster. This was just like in the beginning…L was so close, and Light was so aware of him. His heartbeats, his steady breathing, his soft skin…Like always when L held him close. He nuzzled a little closer to him, and enjoyed the grass tickling his body, and the weight of L's arm around his waist. He was still bony and soft at the same time. Light stared back into L's eyes. So deep, still sucking him into their endless depths…and L looked in love. Light couldn't see his own reflection in his eyes properly, but was sure he looked the same. L moved a little closer, and kissed Light softly. Voluntary. Light thought he saw little stars in the back of his mind and kissed back. A kiss…L's lips were so soft…

They laid there for over an hour, together in their little world, and the sunlight on L's face turned more and more orange, until L noticed the sun had almost gone down and rolled Light around gently, turning him with his face to the sun. That (how unexpected) very same sun was disappearing behind a few buildings and trees in the big park in front of Dex' apartment. Sakura blossom got stuck in their hair, the grass was still warm and L was back. Light sighed and totally disappeared in the moment. L was back. He really was back.

The sun disappeared slowly. It fell down, until it winked at them and fully disappeared behind the large buildings forming a part of Tokyo's skyline.

L was back.

_*******_

_A/N: I updated fast, L and Light are together again and it was a longer chap than usual!!:3 Review, plz…?^^_


	10. Reunion

_A/N: It's been so looongXD Here, chap 10^^_

_**10. **__**reunion**_

Hmm. Light-kun.

The sun had gone down minutes ago, and L felt his back getting a little colder. The air always cooled down so fast after the sun went down… He tried to get as close to Light as he could, to hold him tightly and never let him go again. Warm Light. He kissed his neck, Light smelled nice…He felt Light sigh and lean his head forward, to give L better access to the soft skin of his neck. L told him about The Bet, The Worm or whatever Yoki was. How he'd met him, how he'd left him. Little things. Light forgot his tears with L's warm body behind him, and laughed about the things L told him. They watched the sky go darker, and L caressed Light's belly. Light gasped when he felt it. A touch. A voluntary touch. He grabbed L's hand to make sure it wouldn't go away.

It was Light's turn to explain why he reacted like that to a simple touch.

He couldn't wait to tell about Hikaru.

* * *

_Light smirked as he was kissed and pushed down on a bed gently. He was excited, but mostly curious…How would it be to sleep with someone else than L…?_

_No, he shouldn't think about L now, he was here right now, with Hikaru. _

_That same Hikaru happened to unbutton Light's shirt gently, way too slow for Light's liking. Was this man a tease…? He smiled and helped him, opening the buttons with the fingers which had become skilled at doing so. He threw the shirt away and decided the man was wearing too much clothing. He was curious how he'd look without clothes…_

_He was delighted when the man's clothes were finally off, and panted lightly when he started exploring the contours of his torso. Hikaru was muscled, underneath that suit hid an athletic body…_

_He was kissed again, and Light lay back, wrapping his tanned legs around the slim waist, and pulled Hikaru closer. His insides were begging for hard sex, he wondered if his new lover was good at it…_

"_U-um…"_

_Light blinked. "What?"_

"_What are you trying to do…?"_

_Light's eyes widened. "Have you never had sex before?"_

_He'd slept with a certain someone who had been a virgin up to his mid-twenties, but this man was almost thirty…?_

"_Of course, but not…"_

_Light blinked._

"_You never topped?"_

_The man sighed, and Light felt disappointment when he saw the other's erection disappear._

"_Light, you know…You are the first male I ever…had something with…"_

…_?_

"_Oh, I get it…Sorry. I should've guided you-"_

"_I'm sorry, but…let's not do that, okay?"_

_Light tried to hide his disappointment. It wasn't nice to show him how much he'd wanted it; he didn't want the man to do something he didn't want now. Their first time shouldn't be ruined like that._

"_Maybe…"_

_Light looked at the man seductively and traced down his own belly, until he started stroking himself and watched the man turn red and hard again._

_It ended with the man jerking Light, and vice versa. Afterwards Light tried to cuddle up against him, but the man smiled and stood up._

"_If you don't mind…You can sleep here, I have something I have to finish. It was nice, love."_

_Light was a little disappointed. He never expected firework, this was someone new, after all, but he'd at least wished for something to make him smile if he thought back at it, some lust and action from Hikaru._

_Oh, right. He'd called Light 'love'. That was sweet enough. Maybe this man just had to loosen up a little…?_

_Light decided that it would soon become better. _

_

* * *

_

"…And later on, I realized he didn't feel for me what you felt…I didn't want to give up that easily and tried to make him want to do me, but that seemed impossible. He was always busy with his stupid laptop. Yesterday, I got fed up with it, and I told him goodbye, and all he could talk about was some AEX-thing-"

"Right, it increased with five percent, isn't it?"

"Ryuzaki!"

Light wanted to turn around, but L held him in place with his arms.

"No need, Light-kun, you know you're more important to me than a stupid number, right?"

He relaxed a little. "I know…Sorry…"

"No need to apologize, Light-kun."

L sniffed up the scent of Light's hair behind his ear. He'd missed it, way too much, and he couldn't get enough of it, the lightly musky scent of Light's body. He wanted more of it, Light had to smell stronger…L buried his nose deeper in Light's hair. Ahh…His hair…So deliciously good…

L sighed deeply and kissed Light's ear. Light gasped and shuddered. He really reacted heavier on L's touches than before…

"Continue…"

Light sighed again when L traced his belly with a slender index finger. It was harder than it had been before, and L could trace and name some belly muscles. Had he trained or something…? He touched his navel. L heard something resembling a moan, and Light pulled his legs up, to hide something hard from those who were enjoying the after sunset-sky too…

"Ahh…He never really touched me, only if I asked him to…He never did me, as if he didn't like sex…"

L checked if there wasn't anyone looking at him, to keep them from harming little children's eyes, and slid a hand under the waistband of Light's shorts. Wow, the shape of his abdomen…Light had trained, definitely. For that Hikaru-person…?

L decided to ban Hikaru from Light's mind. How dared he, he didn't have the right to touch Light like that, and how dared he to reject someone like Light? He tickled Light's skin ever so softly, sliding lower, until he felt something hard against his fingers. He'd missed that part of Light too, actually…He stroked the base of it, slowly, and leaned over Light to whisper in his ear with a hoarse voice.

"Continue…"

He stroked a little higher, massaging the hot and very soft skin that could only be found in Light's lower regions, and Light squeezed his eyes shut.

"Ah...h-he didn't have any fantasy, all he wanted was working, and –Ahh, Ryuzaki, ah...all he wanted to do was jerking, nothing more…"

So Hikaru indeed was a boring prick. L checked again if there was no one who heard Light making sounds, or who could see where L was with his hand, and decided the only ones who might see them were an elderly pair passing, but they looked at them briefly with their enormous glasses, turned back and walked furtherer. They probably hadn't even recognized them as two guys, let go noticing L's hand…He smiled and stroked higher, up to Light's head, and pinched it.

"Hgn-Ah!"

Light slapped his own hand in front of his mouth to stiff the moan working its way up his throat. L smirked triumphantly. Yes, Light-kun was back in his arms…He leaned over his willing 'victim', blew his ear softly, and licked it. Light shuddered again. So sensitive…

"Why didn't he want _sex_…?"

He laid the stress on the last word, and breathed softly in Light's ear, his lips touching his earlobe. God, he's missed this…seducing Light was the best thing in the world. Together with actual sex, but that wasn't half as fun either without this. This was delicious, the tension, Light's reactions…

Light's scent…

L wrapped his hand around Light's head and started moving the skin over it, and he felt him growing even harder. He knew how to do this well, he hadn't practiced it on Yoki, hell no, but he hadn't forgotten how to drive Light mad. He continued until he felt clear fluid on his fingers, withdrew his hand, and Light groaned softly.

"Ryuzaki…"

L kissed Light's cheek. "What is it, Light-kun…?"

Ah, he'd missed asking that too…He was so glad he had Light back, he was irresistible. He tasted and smelled so good…He sweated a little, now.

He looked at Light's face until he looked up at L, and L touched Light's lips with his wet fingers. Light opened them and L slid two fingers in his mouth. Light's mouth was the same hot cavern; his tongue was still made of velvet. Hikaru had touched it, however, L was sure. Had Light given Hikaru oral…? L tried not to get too jealous. Light was his again, Hikaru was past for his little brunet. He tickled Light's tongue softly with his fingers, and Light smiled a little and pulled L's fingers out.

"Should we go looking for a better place, Ryuzaki…?"

L nodded and helped Light up. It was almost dark now, and there were lights shining in the pond next to their tree. Light stared at it with a dreamy look in his eyes. L let him for a little time, and took his hand. "Let's first go back to Dex. He might miss us."

It was Dex who brought them together again, practically. If he hadn't called L, they wouldn't have been together this moment. In a good mood, but not together. They should thank him.

They took the cake and strawberries with them (L hadn't even touched them) and they held hands when they walked back to Dex' front door. Light took the key Dex had given him and wanted to open the door, when he heard…sounds come from the room behind it.

L snickered. "Maybe we'd better go somewhere else…"

Light smiled too. "Maybe we can do it in Hikaru's bubble bath…"

His and L's room in the Headquarters (the building was now used by people who had to work for L, if they had to stay in the Kanto-region, but L and Light's room was forbidden for others) had a bubble bath too. Did Light unconsciously feel attracted by rich men…?

L frowned. "That…Hikaru-person has a bubble bath?"

Light smiled. L really looked jealous; he pouted a little, not enough to be joking, and his eyes were sharp.

"He has, but you are better at making real fun of a bubble bath…"

L's face turned mischievous. "Do you want me to show you again how much fun a bubble bath can be…?"

Light smirked. "I'd love that."

L was about to pull Light closer and seduce him with a kiss, when Light blinked. "Maybe we could leave a letter for Dex. We'll put it in his mailbox, a short message to thank him. We'll take him to the sex shop later, where we'll pay whatever he wants, or something. Do you have paper…?"

There was a sheet of paper in one of L's pockets, though it was wrinkled. Light took a pen out of his bag, and wrote a short 'Thanks, Dexie! We're in a hotel tonight;) Have fun with Marik!', and put it into his mailbox. He smiled at L, who took his hand and led him to the streets, to somewhere they could be alone together for a while.

* * *

"_Ryuzaki-"_

_Light screamed soundlessly when all the muscles in his body tensed so hard it hurt, and L gripped onto his shoulders so hard it was painful.__ His eyes rolled back and his body shocked, and after hours, it felt, he relaxed completely, L falling on top of him and resting his head on Light's shoulder. Light couldn't move his arms to wrap them around L, he was too exhausted, but managed to sigh L's fake name. His eyelids fluttered close, and he enjoyed the warmth and weight of L's body on his. He loved him so much, L was so…L…_

_After a minute, L found the energy to sit up and roll Light to the side, to cuddle up against Light and kiss his face._

"_Ryuzaki…"_

"_Hm?"_

_Light sighed and slowly moved his arms around L's torso, drawing lazy circles on L's vertebras. _

"_We're getting better and better at this…"_

_L smirked. "Oh, really?"_

_He slid lower and licked Light's belly, where Light's semen stuck to the tanned skin. He licked his navel lazily, lapping some fluid out of it._

"_Hm, you're right…"_

_Light smiled and patted L on his hair. "Pervert."_

_L laid back and kissed Light on the mouth. "You can't disagree with me."_

"_Hm- y__ou're right."_

_They laid there for a while, enjoying the other's body and the warmth they radiated with. As soon as their skins cooled too much, L took some sheets and wrapped them around Light first, to join him and hold him close. Light smiled at L, how the lights from outside made his face partly visible, the perfection of his already dry skin; L didn't sweat much and the thin layer of sweat on his face usually disappeared automatically. All these little things Light loved about him, things only Light knew, and he'd never share them. With Dex, maybe. He loved L to no end._

"_Light-kun?"_

"_Hm?"_

"_It may sound cheesy, but I'll never love anyone like I love you, never. I mean it."_

_Light blinked. L smiled a little, but his eyes were serious and a bit dreamy. He looked amazing, always after sex, so much that Light often acted like he fell asleep to wait until L actually was. And L loved him back the way Light loved him. He kissed L on his lips._

"_I feel the same."_

_Another kiss, a smile and a deep embrace and Light and L fell asleep at the same moment, into a deep and peaceful slumber._


	11. Bond

_A/N: Sorry for breaking the atmosphere by not updating for longx3 Reread last chap, I__'d say^^_

_**11. Bond**_

Twenty minutes later L slammed the door of the expensive hotel room shut, to be attacked instantly by a panting Light, who kissed him aggressively, trying to get L's shirt off as fast as he could. L's hands flashed to Light's sport vest, pulled it up and threw it away, breaking the kiss for only less than a second before attacking Light's lips again. Their hips pressed against the other's, their legs entangled and their hands groped whatever they could, taking back everything they'd longed for so badly.

Both moaned softly when their tongues touched and mixed their saliva, how they missed this, how was it possible to live without it for so long…? Instantly addicted again, they grabbed each other's hair to make sure the kiss wouldn't break. Light held the sides of L's face and L grabbed Light's hips to grind against them harder. L moaned when Light forced his lower body against the wall with his. They were harder than anywhere in the past six months.

L pushed Light away from the wall and to the bed, pinned him down and threw their pants away as fast as he could. He devoured Light's lips once again with a moan when they felt how naked they were now. L grounded his hips against Light's again, held Light's butt and slid his fingers over the sun-kissed skin of his waist, and Light's head swooned when he felt the soft touches of the digits on his body. They were both made for this, there was nothing more delicious than this…L felt around for his jeans without breaking the kiss, found them and pulled lube out of a pocket (you didn't think he'd visit Light without, right?), to wet his fingers and slide into Light with three fingers at once, stretching him. He touched the small organ inside of Light that made Light writhe in pleasure and moan hard into the kiss. L wet himself with his free hand and threw the lube aside, to thrust into Light the same moment when he pulled out his fingers, hitting the spot inside of Light immediately.

The last proper thought inside of Light's mind was how on earth he could've missed this all that time, before his eyes shot open in ecstasy and he broke the kiss by throwing his head back. L thrust hard into Light and groaned, parting his lips against Light's shoulder and biting it. He tasted the same, he smelled the same, Light was Light, and he was arching into L with all the power he had. L started thrusting into Light repeatedly with rough motions while biting Light's neck aggressively, Light whimpered softly and made red lines in L's back with his nails. He forced L deeper inside of him with his legs –wrapping his legs around something, how great it was to do that- and moved his hips to make L thrust harder and faster, he needed it, he would die without, there was so much tension inside of him he'd set the room on fire soon…He let out a high-pitched yelp while his abdominal muscles contracted and waved an electric shock through his body, and the next few seconds were ecstatic; Light swore he was floating, until the bed underneath him returned and his breath slowed down. The first thing he saw when he could see clear again was the ceiling, and someone's head blocking the light out of his face. L was kissing him, licking his lips slowly while caressing Light's shoulders. Light grabbed L's and pulled him down, and entangled his legs with his lover's.

"Light-kun…"

Light smiled in pure bliss when he heard L's voice. His L…He was so happy…

"Ryuzaki…"

L purred softly and kissed Light's neck, to his shoulder and over the small wounds he had caused with his teeth. Light wrapped his arms around L's shoulders and caressed his back slowly, closing his eyes when he felt L's lips against his skin. He sighed and tried to feel everything he could, the warmth, the love and the butterflies, the laziness and the presence of the one he loved most. The lips, the soft locks and the lean fingers. L's warm breath.

"You missed this a lot, didn't you…?"

Light opened his eyes again. He had. Way too much.

"Yeah, I missed this."

Light felt L's lips curl into a smile against his skin. He couldn't but do the same.

"You did too…"

L moved his face to Light's until their noses touched.

"Do you really expect me to say 'no' to that…?"

"No…"

L grinned and kissed Light on his lips. He enjoyed it almost as much as the sex they just had. Light's lips were soft and delicate, and they tasted pure. And his hair…ahh.

He tried to work himself up to get some better access to Light's hair, when he felt something sticky on their bellies.

"I believe this suite has a bubble bath…Shall we try, Light-kun? I don't feel like sleeping."

He wanted to stay awake to enjoy Light for a little longer. Light yawned cutely.

"I do…but a bubble bath doesn't sound bad at all…"

L sat up and took Light's hands, to pull him up. He stood up and headed for the bathroom, Light behind him. He gasped in pain when Light touched the spot where both Yoki and his father had pinched him hard.

"Is that a bruise…?"

L grimaced and told Light about Yoki and his father, and Light stroked the spot with his fingertips.

"At least they have a good taste. Want me to kiss the pain away…?"

Light kneeled and held L's hips, to peck the bruise on his butt. L blushed.

"Um…I'll turn on the bubble bath."

Light smiled. There sure were ways to make L blush.

A few minutes later they sat in the bubble bath, their bodies touching and their hands stroking each other. L followed the shape of Light's chest, his waist and his endless legs, the tanned and soft skin and the outline of some muscles that told L Light had jogged a lot the last few months (Light always tended to jog for hours when he felt powerless about something). Light fiddled with L's hair and stroked his neck, one of L's sensitive spots, and traced the shape of his ribs. Hikaru's ribs were all hidden underneath his muscles, while tracing ribs was something that calmed Light down, probably because it was something L-related. It wasn't like L's chest was nothing but ribs; there were just some places where the bones were visible. Light found it sexy.

The bathroom was dimly lit and soon smelled like the bathing oil Light had added quickly. The bubbles made a warm sound that reminded Light at the time where he and L had been after Kira, the time where he'd been so hopelessly in love with L without knowing if it was returned, the time where he'd first experienced you could love someone so much it hurt. He sighed and stared into L's eyes, and kissed him. First it was a soft kiss, just lips touching and caressing each other, when L opened his lips and licked Light's teasingly. Light slid his tongue into L's mouth lazily and sat down on L's lap, wrapping his legs around his waist. L smiled and kissed his boyfriend again, noticed he was hard again and broke the kiss.

Light blinked and wondered why L broke the kiss and looked at him, to find L looking back and laying his forehead against Light's. Light closed his eyes momentarily when he felt L's hands glide to his hips and holding them, and opened them again when something entered him slowly. He hissed and squeezed L's shoulders, it hurt because the lubricant had washed away, but tried to relax and held L's gaze with his. It was as if there was no sound in the room; only them and something silent between only Light and L, something that went way deeper than sex. Something that couldn't be explained with 'I love you', or with a simple kiss. They were bound to be together by something so strong it was almost tangible.

Neither moved for more than a minute of locked gazes, until L pressed such a soft kiss on Light's lips he almost wouldn't have registered it if he hadn't seen L's face close to his. L's hands were still on Light's hips and he moved them up, and down again, until Light started moving his hips by himself. It didn't hurt anymore, maybe he was bleeding a little, maybe it was L's fluid. The sound turned back, the bathroom and the hot water, the aromas of the bathing oil making their skins slick (the bathing oil could also be a reason why the hurt stopped…) and smelling like roses or some other flower. The endlessness of L's eyes, the water making his hair stick to his face, the small drops of water stuck in his eyelashes.

The following orgasm made Light shudder all over his body, as if the temperature dropped twenty degrees for only less than a second. He didn't know how he managed to do it, but he kept his gaze locked with L's all the time. L came a few seconds later, a soft 'ah' escaping his throat. He relaxed too and waited for a short time before pulling out of Light. The next minutes were filled with drowsiness, hands and the hot water of the bubble bath. L grinned softly, and Light asked why, to be kissed on his lips again.

"I just can't believe Hikaru is the boring prick he looks like. It's funny that he missed all this."

Light smiled too. Maybe L was right.

"There's one thing Hikaru can better than you can."

L blinked. "Accountant-managing? I don't care about that; there are accountant-managers to do so."

"No." Light smirked. "Cooking."

L's face turned from surprised to insulted. "What, does he think he's better than I am?"

Light laughed at the idea of Hikaru only even considering he was better than L. No one was better than L.

"It's a fact. You suck at cooking."

L rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "I am L. If I want to become a great cook, I can easily become better at cooking than that _accountant-manager_."

"I'll help you. Let's become star cookers together, okay? I think Dex wants to join our team too."

L took Light in his arms again and kissed his neck, leaving a bite mark that would let the world know who was better at loving Light.

"I'll arrange the desserts. I already know what I want: undressed, handcuffed and blindfolded Light-kun on a table with fruit, chocolate sauce and whipped cream, finished with a tasty mix of honey, raisins and cinnamon. The way to devour it will be only with hands and mouth, and the only one who'll ever taste this perfect culinary artwork will be me. Sounds good to you?"

Light blushed, delighted by the idea of being L's dessert. The thought of L's tongue lapping up all those sweets from his body made him shudder lightly. Yeah, he hadn't forgotten and he'd often tried to seduce Hikaru, but he'd always been rejected and told to clean the mess on the kitchen table. The desserts had often been filled with fantasies about L, who was replaced by Hikaru as soon as Light realized it was him.

"Maybe we could use Hikaru's dining table as a plate…"

L smirked. "Not a bad idea…I wonder what he'll do when he'll find you like that, knowing that he isn't allowed to lick you anymore…"

Hikaru never licked Light, and both knew it. L bent forward a little and traced Light's wet skin with his tongue, from his nipple to the spot behind his ear.

"Hikaru will pity that he never did this, don't you think?"

Light smiled and yawned again. "I hope so. Shall we go asleep right here, in the bubble bath…?"

L considered it, decided he'd stay awake to make sure Light wouldn't drown or anything, programmed the bubble bath so that it would stay hot all night, and held his boyfriend in his lap.

"Sleep well, Light-kun. I love you."

Light smiled, resting his head on L's shoulder and closing his eyes.

"I love you too."


End file.
